Intuition

Last week, Henry was diagnosed with an ear infection.  And while an ear infection is about as normal of a childhood ailment as they come (second maybe to having a cold), I'm finding myself a little anxious about it.

This seems super silly because I had bundles of ear infections when I was little.  And I have friends whose children have had dozens of ear infections in one year.  But Henry's last ear infection took 4 antibiotics to clear up and he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia.

While I know this isn't likely to happen again (his pediatrician told me it would be rare), I find myself anxious about whether or not the ear infection is actually going to be cured.

Today was his last dose of medicine and while he seems to be doing alright, he still digs at his ears.  Is that wax?  Teething pain?  Or is that ear infection lurking still?

It seems like every time he gets sick, I kick myself incessantly.  I know I shouldn't do that, but it is hard.  The weekend before we took him to the doctor (and a few days the week before), I knew there was something wrong with him.  I told myself I should have trusted my mommy intuition and taken him in sooner.

My mommy intuition tells me to take him back to the doctor to check.  I also know I am an anxious person.  Better safe than sorry is my mantra.  Do I wait and see how he acts, knowing where we ended up last time?

Being a mommy is hard.

For now, my plan is to wait and see what happens.  But if my intuition starts telling me something isn't right, I am going to trust it.  I'd rather lose the $30 for the copay than risk him being in pain or getting sicker.

Better safe than sorry.  :)

Thanks I didn't ask

Nothing warrants unsolicited advice quite like having a baby.  I would say a close second to actually having a baby would be the unsolicited advice that comes from trying (and struggling) to get pregnant (because obviously something teenagers manage to do in the back of the car is too complicated for some of us adults).

But still... I think it is worse when there's a baby involved.  It takes a village and I guess people feel like their contribution to the village is to offer any "helpful" piece of information they can remember.

In my experience, there are two types of advice:

(1) helpful advice

and

(2) advice people give to make themselves feel better


Personally, I don't mind helpful advice.  My policy is to listen to all of the helpful advice people shell out.  After all, they have been there and I'm not so arrogant to think I have it all figured out.  I don't.  I have managed to keep Henry alive, but that doesn't make me an expert.  I try my best to listen to all of the advice and then pick what I want to put into practice.  As I learned the other day at Henry's doctor appointment, that includes information from the pediatrician too (but that's for a different post).

The second type of advice is what I would categorize as "advice people give to make themselves feel better."  Whether it is to make themselves feel smarter or to justify actions they have taken in the past, this advice actually does very little to serve the person the advice is given to.  For example, when someone tells an expecting mother to "sleep as much as you can now.  You won't be sleeping when the baby comes."  First of all, expecting mothers don't sleep well, so you couldn't follow this advice even if you wanted.  Secondly, reminding someone of their impending sleep deprivation solves nothing.  I think this kind of advice is just a misery loves company kind of thing.

That kind of advice is really hard for me to listen to, but I usually just try to brush it off and move on. It's important to recognize that the person giving that advice feels the need to share it for some reason and I figure I am just being a sounding board for some time of baggage they feel the need to unload.

For that reason, I personally only try to give advice when I honestly think it will benefit the person receiving the advice.  Other than that, I think the most important thing to do for people is to encourage them and (most of the time) keep my mouth shut.

So since you didn't ask... that's how I handle unsolicited advice.  :)

Some thoughts on Mother's Day

There are a million Mother's Day posts on Facebook and in blogland from yesterday and today.  I will add to the bunch.

Yesterday marked my first official Mother's Day and my guys spoiled me.

Henry dressed up and they took me out to breakfast where Henry proceeded to be very good and eat his first pancake.

{Ignore the Christmas bib.  We are working on getting our money's worth out of that one}

Then he was very tired.  Cause pancake eating is hard.

We went to church, then home for a nap (just Henry) and then over to my parents' house for lunch.  Back home for another nap (everyone) and then a phone call to Phil's mom, dinner, bath and early bed.

It was a wonderful day, full of reminders of how blessed I am to be a mom.

But the day was also bittersweet.

I couldn't help but think about all the childless Mom's out there.  The ones who have lost babies and the ones who are still waiting and wishing for their babies.

I'm not sure if part of me will ever get over the pain of past Mother's Days.  The pain of not pregnant month after month.  Of finding out there are actual road blocks in the way to having a baby.  Of having cancer and (even though the prognosis was always good) fearing illness may make having a baby impossible.  And then the pain of having to wait after cancer treatments.

All while everyone else and their dog seems to get pregnant at the top of the hat.

I remember one day, finding out that 5 people were having a baby all before noon.  That required cake.  And wine.

I bargained, begged and pleaded that I would become a mom.

The challenges to become a mom and the sad Mother's Days of the past changed me.  It made me painfully aware of how precious the gift of motherhood is.  And how painful it was to wait for it.

I'm so grateful that I get to be a Mommy.

I didn't need a gift for Mother's Day.  Being a Mom is a gift.