Adventures at the Dog Park... AGAIN

Now that Cotton is fully vaccinated (and no one can pester me about Parvo anymore), we decided to take our doggies to the Dog Park.  We've had some interesting trips to the dark park (see HERE and HERE).  And this trip did NOT disappoint.

It started off all innocent and cute.  Cotton was playing with some dogs, which he was VERY excited about if you catch my drift.  But then things must have gotten scary because while he was on his back, his little pink parts went away and he peed all over himself.

He's a puppy genius.

Then, it took a turn for the weird when a seemingly normal thirty-something man walked over to us and decided to show us how cool it was that he could have his giant dog run full speed at us from across the park.

After that he began asking seemingly innocent questions about Cotton.

What kind of dog is he?

How old is he?

Then they turned slightly offensive.

Brittany's are pretty high energy, did you guys have any idea what you were getting yourselves into?

Since Brittany's are a hunting dog, it's basically a travesty to not hunt with them.  Are you going to hunt with him?

Phil then explained that once he finished his degree, he planned on trying to teach him to hunt.

Oh yeah a degree.  I have one of those.  My degree is in Biochemistry.

Like we were supposed to be super impressed by that.

Then we explained that we had done research and we liked a lot of the characteristics Brittany's had.  Such as they are easy to train, excellent family dogs, great around children.  And they have lots of energy.  We wanted a dog with some energy.

Buying a pure-breed is really a stupid thing to do.  Was he expensive?

The problem with pure-breeds is that they are all inbred and therefore quite stupid.

After I tried to explain that Cotton wasn't inbred (we have the lineage papers to prove it) I got...

No.  They are all inbred.  That's how breeding works.  I know these things.  I have a biochemistry degree.

He's not all Brittany anyway.  He must have another breed in there too.  He doesn't look enough like a Brittany.

UGH!!

After he finished bashing Cotton, he turned his sights to Taylor.

Did you realize when you adopted her that you were getting a pit bull?  That's a pretty White Trash thing to adopt.

Have you had any problems with her being violent?

Really?!?!

I don't need to defend Taylor.  She's pretty much the best dog ever.  I told her she is never allowed to die.

He also explained that he bought his dog out of the back of a van for $50.  And his dog was so sick and flea-covered that he had to spend a ton of money getting him healthy again.  But we are White Trash for doing research about our dog and going through a breeder that did this breeding for her own pet?  Ok... I see that logic.

Sadly, I know there are several other things he said that I left out.

Thankfully at this point, the dogs were both VERY tired and we had every excuse to head home.

The dogs had a great time.  We were only extremely offended.

At least I didn't get fondled this time.

Yelled At

Hello and welcome to the longest blog post for your Monday morning.  Please pull up a chair and grab your pumpkin spice latte.

A little while ago, I mentioned I was getting yelled at A LOT lately.

There were 3 days in a row that I got yelled at Thursday, Friday, and then 3 times on Saturday.  Sometimes I get yelled at and I deserve it.  I don't have as much of a problem with that.  But because I was so stressed at the time and I don't think I deserved to get yelled at, I found it a little odd.

Honestly, I can't remember what happened on Thursday.  But it was definitely a stranger yelling at me.

Friday, was the day of my scan so I was hungry and anxious to begin with.  Plus, I knew I would have to lay still for 45 minutes.  Turns out this scan was a little more involved than my previous scan, so it was going to be somewhere between and hour and a half to two hours.  Something about knowing you have to lie still for that long just makes you want to move.  REAL bad.

The tech had explained to me that I couldn't move once the CT portion of the scan started, but didn't tell me that I couldn't move between the nuclear scan and the CT scan.  So when she came into the room to kick Phil out, I turned my head to look at her.  And she yelled at me.

She seriously was pissed at me.

In my defense, I couldn't feel my hands or my feet.  After like 20 minutes of that, it seriously starts to get to you.

The first time I got yelled at Saturday, it was at PETCO.  You'd think a place that allows your dog to poop in the aisles would be pretty lax.  But no.  She was upset that I was holding Cotton near the kitten cages which they had set up in the dog treat aisle.  She said, "NO!!  We don't allow dogs near the kittens.  It freaks them out."

If you don't want dogs near the kittens, how about you don't put them with THE DOG TREATS!!  That really sends a mixed signal to the dogs, doesn't it?  Plus, I think it is good to know that the kitten would be aggressive to MY PUPPY.  Cause he's so scary.

Next, we were at the State Fair.  I guess while we were walking through the farm exhibits, my nephew David fells and got some cow poop on his hands.  All of a sudden, I see Nick wisk him off to the bathroom in a hurry.  He came back out like a minute later.  When I asked what happened, he said David had fallen down and then rolled around in feces.  I imagined David getting crap all over himself by the way Nick described it, so when I said that David didn't look that dirty Nick replied with, "WELL OBVIOUSLY I MADE IT ALL UP!!"

Okay...

We then made our way into the exhibit hall where they sell all the random crap.  You can get some knives, a sewing machine, and some Sham-WOWS.  Phil had wandered off to listen to someone trying to sell a pet brush.  According to the screens the seller had going, this brush basically shaves your dog it gets so much fur off the dog.  Well... I bought that stupid brush a couple of years ago and it doesn't work.  Not at all.  Not even a little.  So I said that to Phil.

Me:  Phil, we have that brush and it doesn't work.

Seller:  Excuse me?!?  This brush works.

Me:  Yeah... no it doesn't.

Seller:  Do you have a dog that sheds?
Why on earth would I have bought a brush for a dog that doesn't shed?

Me:  Yes.

Seller:  Well this brush works.

Me:  No, it doesn't.

Seller:  Well here's how it doesn't work (pointing to one tv screen).  And this is how it doesn't work (pointing to another screen).  And THIS is how it doesn't work (pointing to a third screen).  OBVIOUSLY these were directed by Spielberg since you say the brush DOESN'T WORK!!

At which point I wanted to call him a very bad name, but I didn't.  I walked off.

And I walked off wondering why the crap I have been getting yelled at so much?  Can't people sense my vulnerability?  COME ONE PEOPLE!!  My brother apologized.  He was just aggravated about having to clean animal poop off his child (which is understandable).

I haven't gotten yelled at as much since.  I have gotten flipped off while driving a few times, but that is probably par for the course.

You know who doesn't yell at me?

This guy.

Random Recap

I've been wanting to do another random recap for a while now.  And I figured Follow Friday was the perfect excuse.  Here are a few random thoughts from the last week:

-  Yesterday morning I was driving to do a site inspection and I noticed I was driving through bubbles which seemed pretty odd.  Why were there bubbles on a major road?  A couple minutes later I was stopped at a light, a few cars back.  That is when I noticed an older woman (in her mid to late fifties) with a bubble gun.  And she was sticking it out the window to blow bubbles.  It was kind of weird, but whatever floats your boat I guess.

-  I read somewhere that the type of thyroid cancer I have and enlarged thyroids (goitars) can be caused by iodine deficiency.  I kind of buy that I wasn't getting enough iodine.  I never use salt and for a while there I didn't eat a balanced diet.  But one of the ways to keep the cancer from coming back is to get plenty of iodine.  I am taking this as an excuse to eat as much dairy as I want (since dairy is filthy with iodine).  Lattes, Root Bear Floats, Cheese... we are best friends now.  I'm going to be fat.

-  I have a very boring blog name I think.  But then again, I am not sure how some people come up with their blog names.  It seems like two random things mixed together sometimes.   Maybe I should rename the blog "Spider monkies and Tutus" or "Popsicles and Springtime".  I have no idea.  Those are probably already taken.  If you have a weird blog name, just please have an explanation of it in your ABOUT ME section.

-  We are on day 6 with Cotton and it has been a very interesting week.  I will write more about that later.  But I'll just say I have already lost like a pound simply from not having time to eat.  And also, I can apparantly operate on interupted sleep.  I think that is thanks to my thyroid meds.  There need to be some side effects to being hyperthyroid.

-  I'm going to make Phil t-shirts for his birthdays and Christmas from now on with different phrases on them.  He's hiding his enthusiasm, but I know deep down he is looking forward to it.  The first shirt will say "Bazinga".

-  I broke my dad's push lawn mower earlier this week.  I think I am going to be grounded.

-  I think there were some pros and cons to the 4th of July being on a Wednesday.  On the upside, I LOVED only have to work 2 days before getting a day off.  It broke up the week quite nicely.  On the downside, I have been very confused all day about what day it is.  Yesterday I kept thinking I would be watching The Bachelorette all day.

-  And speaking of the 4th of July, I did NOT appreciate the fact that ALL OF MY NEIGHBORS were setting off illegal fireworks.  And neither did my dogs.  They are all on my list.

-  To finish off this random recap, here's a random picture of Cotton:

Melt my heart.

I Like Reruns

For about the past 9 months or so, I haven't been able to watch new movies.  Or really new television.

Movies come out that I am dying to see... we really don't see many.  So when they come out on DVD, we buy them.  And then I still haven't watched them.

Books that I have wanted to read... I'm afraid to read them.  I tried to start reading The Book Thief, but when I realized (about the first page) that it was narrated by Death, I quickly tossed that book to the floor.  It will soon be finding itself at Goodwill I think.

I got a spotify account and have been listening to Disney music.  I find it comforting.

We watched a lot of stuff that I have already seen:

Gilmore Girls
Friends
Big Bang Theory
Friday Night Lights
Harry Potter
Couples Retreat
American President
The Patriot
The Good Wife
Old Seasons of Big Brother
Disney Movies

Or we watch a lot of crappy reality TV, which Phil is not such a fan of.

I just can't watch new stuff.  Phil finally got me to branch out and watch some Duck Dynasty.  But that was really only after he told me about most of the episodes.  And I did watch Big Love for a while there, but I always had the option of looking up what happened on wikipedia or IMDB.

I know this makes me sound like 20 kinds of crazy-pants. 

Phil and I were talking about it yesterday.  I think it is because the drama on movies and TV shows just freaks me out.  Life has been so complicated lately and full of drama... seeing how things could be even more dramatic just freaks me out.  Phil's response was, "But it isn't real.  It is fictional drama."

And he's right.  It is time to put on my big girl pants and branch out.

But not tonight... So You Think You Can Dance is on.  :)

Dude, Where's Your Car?

Only in Oregon...

Home of weird Portlanders, tons of organic food, birkenstocks, granola eaters, and a consistent blue state...

Can you see this in the parking lot:

I sent this picture to Phil and a ton of obvious jokes came out:

- I almost didn't see it!

- Do you think he gets rear-ended a lot?  Cause you know... no one sees him brake.

- Phil said he was glad I didn't try to park in his spot. (Cause it looked like it was open.)


Shockingly enough their NRA sticker was very visible.  :)

Oh what a day...

I will try to not harp on it too much, but yesterday was just not my day.  Here is my proof:

1)  Biopsy got cancelled/moved.  We already covered this.

2)  We went to Olive Garden for my dad's birthday.  When Phil and I were discussing what I thought I would have for dinner, my mind immediately went towards the Shrimp and Asparagus Risotta.  I have had it before and it is SO YUMMY!  I open the menu and... it isn't there anymore.

3)  After dinner, Phil and I went to Target so I could buy a new Christmas CD.  After walking around the store, I found a shirt and my new Christmas CD.  I walked up to a cashier and picked the newest Target employee.  Figures.  He rings us up, helps me open my Target Red account (hopefully without selling my identity) and Phil and I are on our merry way.  We get home and I am BEAT.  Just emotionally drained.  Phil mentions that I should upload my new CD (as a pick me up) and goes to get the CD.  It's not there.

The new employee didn't put it in the bag.

Of course he didn't.

At this point, I am not even mad.  It is almost comical.  Phil and I have a good laugh about how the day has gone, hop back into the car and head to Target... again.

Since it is now 9 o'clock at night, there aren't a lot of people at Target and in the parking lot.  Phil parks the car and we start to get out when we notice that there are people in the car next to ours.  Making out.  Like hard core making out.

Classy.

Our first kiss was in a parking lot.  It was the parking lot next to the Physics building, after like our 8th date.  We had been dating for almost a month.  I was about ready smack him and then start making out with him.

It also reminded me of my senior year of high school.  I was helping out the Junior Miss contestants with some interview prep at a local Starbucks.  The coffee shop happens to be located on the main road of the town, so it is EXTREMELY visible.  We had finished our interview prep and were walking to our cars to head to Junior Miss practice.  One of the girls was about to get in her car when she noticed the people in the car next to hers were HAVING SEX.  It was light outside!  On the busiest street in town.  Definitely weird.

No worries, I got my new CD.  At least the day ended on a funny note.  :)


Love, Mrs. Janney

PDD - Public Display of Disgusting

After my endo appointment yesterday, Phil was nice enough to take me out to lunch.  We went to Hawaiian Time because it is the closest thing to Local Boyz we have outside of Corvallis.

By the time we got there, the lunch time rush was in full swing so we took our place in the back of the line.  We get in line behind an older couple.  They were probably in their mid-fifties.  The man was sporty the ever stylish skullet (bald on top with long flowing locks in the back) while his girlfriend had hair so long it would have put a fundamentalist christian to shame.  First of all, hair longer than the small of your back is so disgusting.  This lady's hair was PAST her butt.  But what made it even worse was the fact that skullet man was running both of his hands through her hair the ENTIRE TIME we were in line.  They stopped for a couple of minutes to make-out.  But then he went right back to playing with her hair.

And I have to be honest... I am not a good liar.  It was probably written all over my face that I was horribly disgusted by the human hair combing going on.  If it wasn't apparant on my face, my body language probably spoke volumes.  I think I have a good four or five feet in between them and me.

I kind of wanted to barf.  If I hadn't been so hungry I would have completely lost my appetite.  We got our food to go.

SIDE NOTE:  One of my physics professors at Oregon State also sported the skullet.  He kept his tied back into a pony-tail.  One time before lecture started, he took his pony-tail out and shake out his locks, all slow motion style.  I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed and no one had.  Lucky for them.  It is forever etched into my brain.

Note to all mankind:  We are not monkeys.  Please don't comb someone elses hair in a place where my food is being prepared/people are eating.  It is weird.

Wish List (Currently)

Here is a compilation of my current wishes.  Prepare yourself... they are deep.

In no particular order...

I wish that:

- Pumpkin Spice Lattes were 0 calories.  And that they cost $1.

- It was socially acceptable to wear sweatpants to work.  Apparently that makes me "unprofessional."

- There were more paid holidays.

- That I had a British accent.  I started to get one when I first lived in England.  By the time I went home for Christmas, I had picked up the inflections (the way Brits ask questions sounds different than us Yanks) but now it is all gone.  Sad.

- That there was another writer's strike on TV so I wouldn't have to wait until next July for the next season of Big Brother (guilty pleasure).

-  That the women of The Real Housewives of (Insert City name here) would get a taste of reality.  Seriously... have you seen these women?


So far I think that is it.  And I didn't wish for world peace because that is implied.  Obviously.


Love, Mrs. Janney

Chicken Nuggets

After getting back from the family camping trip and running a couple of errands, I was in no mood to cook lunch.  Nothing sounded good.  So I let Phil decide what we had for lunch.  He chose Popeye's.

By the time we get to the restaurant, it is about 2 in the afternoon and we are STARVING.  I was about ready to eat my car cushions, I was that ravenous.

We go in to order and there is one couple in front of us.  Before they get a chance to order, this Asian woman (with a thick accent) comes up to complain about how little food she actually got with her order.  And it worked.  One of the workers gave her more chicken nuggets/popcorn shrimp and she went back to her seat.  The couple in front of us starts to order.  They take A CRAZY LONG TIME to order their 2 dishes. 

In the time it has taken for the couple of order their food, the Asian woman has reappeared with two more of the dishes her group ordered.  This time, to complain about the small size of the chicken nuggets.  Her rant included some of the following statements:

"Anywhere else you go like McDonald's or Wendy's the chicken nuggets are much bigger than this."

"Look at the picture.  The picture shows the nuggets much bigger."

"I can't believe this is all the food you are going to give me."

These statements weren't just said once.  They were repeated at least 5 times each.  Like it would much sense if you repeated the exact same thing a third, fourth or fifth time.  Did she expect the Popeye's employee to say, "Oh!!  I am sorry ma'am.  The first four times you said it, it didn't make sense.  Now I understand.  Please, take all of the chicken nuggets you want."  I was a good 2 seconds away from screaming at her, "THEN GO TO MCDONALDS!"

Now her points might have been valid if she hadn't JUST come up and begged for more food.  Not to mention the general principle that Popeye's is NOT a fine dining experience.  OF COURSE the picture is going to be much larger than the actual food.  And you CAN SEE the actual chicken nuggets right behind the counter.

Isn't that just your stereotypical idea of an American?  Go to a fast food restaurant, get your food and then complain about it until they either give you more food for free or your money back.

It just goes to show that even if English is not your first language, it is still possible to be an ugly American.

When Phil and I went to order (because we still hadn't ordered yet at this point), I asked for the tiny chicken nuggets.  :)

And then later that night, I yelled at a cancer patient.

It was a stellar afternoon/evening.