It shouldn't have taken me so long to post that Henry was born, but I guess I didn't exactly have a "typical" labor. I don't know. I'm no labor expert. All I know is that it was LONG and REALLY hard. It took a couple of days to recover from that and we are still getting used to each other, parenting, and the joys of waiting for milk to come in.
Anyway, I am hoping that as we adjust I will be able to write some posts about everything that happened and how we are currently doing.
I've attempted to write you letters several times during this pregnancy, but the words would never come. From the very beginning, your existence has been too good to be true. I was starting to feel like your daddy and I weren't meant to be parents the traditional way, or maybe at all. There really wasn't a day that went by that my heart didn't ache for a family, for you.
Even though I knew I needed to be patient, to wait to be through with thyroid cancer so we could move forward, each day felt like forever. Every time I heard of someone else being pregnant or having a baby, I would get angry. I was mad it was so easy for them when it was so hard for me. I was upset I had to have cancer. I was disabled by how unfair the situation felt. I couldn't understand why I was being kept from you.
And then I got a feeling. I got my scan and blood test results both back on Tuesday. By Thursday, I was pretty sure I was pregnant. On Friday, I knew you were in my belly.
There are no words to describe how happy, excited, and overjoyed your daddy and I were. You are the answer to our prayers and your timing couldn't have been more perfect. Almost the second your existence was ok, you were with us. It's as if God knew we couldn't wait any longer for you.
As excited as I am to meet you, a part of me is nervous for you to be born. For the last 9 months, it has been you and me. You've been with me every second of every day, with gentle (and not so gentle) kicks and rolls. Constant reminders of the gift from God that you are and how lucky I am. You're especially active during meetings, which makes me smile. And when I start to feel nervous about how you're doing, you always move, letting me know that you're alright. After you're born, I'll have to share you with everyone else. I won't be able to keep you safe one hundred percent of the time and I worry for how the world will treat you.
There are so many prayers and hopes I have for you, little boy. I pray you'll have your daddy's kind soul and good manners. I pray you'll be smart and make good choices. I pray you'll have empathy for others. I pray you'll constantly look for the good in the world and ways you can make it better. I pray you'll find your passion in life and work towards it. I pray you'll find a nice person to marry and share your life with. I pray that every day you know how much your daddy and I love you. I pray I can be the mother you deserve me to be. I pray that you will continue to be a gift from God to the world, just as you've been a gift from God to us.
You are my dream come true and I can't wait to meet you.
Love,
Your Momma
PS - Today is your official due date. It's time to come out.
Well, my appointment showed I had progressed to....
ZERO
And the little guy still hadn't budged down one tiny bit.
All that walking and the kid hadn't budged.
Even though I still have some time before I absolute HAVE to do it, it was time to start talking about the possibility of being induced.
Phil and I took a Bradley Method birth classes a few months ago. For those of you not familiar with the Bradley Method (also called Husband coached childbirth) it basically teaches that you should avoid unnecessary medical inventions when it comes to giving birth. As someone who is eager to avoid an epidural and/or c-section, this is right up my alley.
I'm not sure where my fear of the epidural and c-section come from. Maybe it is because I feel like I've had enough stuff done to my body lately. My last body scan had me laying on a curved board for over an hour, during which I lost the feeling in my arms and legs and it FREAKED me out. I did not like the feeling one bit. I felt a little trapped in my own body. The idea of having that done with an epidural just doesn't sound appealing I guess.
I'm not saying I'm going to have a natural childbirth. I have no idea what childbirth will feel like and whether or not I will be able to handle the pain well or have the energy to sustain a long labor. But I wanted to make sure I had all the tools possible to give me a fighting chance. And I reserve the right to change my mind at any point, without judgement. :)
Anyway, "induction" is kind of a dirty word in the Bradley arena. It's not as bad as episiotomy which is basically another word for "the devil" but it is spoken with a bit of distaste in the mouth. I think everyone is aware that Pitocin can be a bit of a game changer.
So a small part of me cringes a little at the idea of being induced. But since this child is currently planning on starting his first day of preschool in my womb, it is a reality. And we kind of decided that if we set an induction date, then we probably wouldn't need it (Murphy's Law).
May 26th
I will be 41 weeks and 1 day.
I feel like that is long enough to be pregnant. I will have given it the good college try when it comes to getting this baby out naturally. My dues will have been paid. If the other women in my Bradley class want to judge, too bad because they have ALL had their babies already (insert jealous screams and crying fits).
Now that we have a date set, I feel so much better. While the thought of having to be pregnant another 9 days kind of makes me want to cry, it also gives me 9 days to get him out on my own. And it gives me 9 more days to get mentally prepared for what an induction could entail. Get into a zen-like place.
I'm off to meditate.
9 more days, TOPS.
PS - Any comments about how awful inductions are and should be avoided like the plague are NOT welcome. Seriously... why would you think I would want to hear that at this point?
Another Friday is upon us and the weather here is AMAZING. Or at least that is what I hear. I'm at my desk, working away tirelessly to try and get my all my work done in case the little man makes his appearance this weekend.
Without further ado... I give you 5 Things Friday.
1. This week has kicked my butt. Next week doesn't look to be any kinder. Phil's been trying to get me to relax a little bit more. I guess he read something about how the c-section rate was higher for women who work right up until they give birth. In an effort to combat how unrelaxing my week has been and will be, I will be spending the weekend relaxing as much as possible.
I should take notes from these guys:
2. And that will be a little easier because I'm not the only one nesting. I came home yesterday to find Phil madly cleaning the house. He had dusted, vacuumed, did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. Points for Phil.
3. I was not so secretly hoping that the full moon would have some kind of lunar effect on me and I'd have the baby. It didn't work. And it was supposed to be a strong one, too. Maybe it's effects will still work this weekend?
Although I did have 2 dreams last night about the baby. In the first one, the baby died in-utero. That one was awful. In the second one, I went to the hospital because I maybe thought I was in labor even though I wasn't really in pain (super wishful thinking on my part). Turns out I was super in labor and before anyone could check me, I gave two small pushes and the baby was born. Phil hadn't even made it to the hospital yet. And in the dream it took me an hour to call him. When I finally did, he was REALLY mad at me. Also strange about the dream... the baby was a doll. Literally. A hard plastic baby doll. It was weird.
4. Yeah I'm pretty sure he won't be born this weekend. I kind of have a feeling he's going to hang around AS LONG as possible. You know those stories of women who go 2 weeks past their due dates with no signs of labor and then end up having to be induced but the induction takes FOREVER... I can see myself being one of those women. I'm not sure what freaks me out more... the idea of a long and painful induction or another month of being pregnant. I'd better not think about it too much.
5. But as of tomorrow, we are officially 37 weeks which means FULL TERM! I'm pretty excited! That means I can start all those natural induction methods, right? The March of Dimes would disagree. I may or may not sit around this weekend with Phil pressing the outside of my ankle.
Ok so that whole thing was pregnancy related and not nearly that funny. I'll work on it.
I'm so curious about what Baby Janney will look like. These pictures might help give some foundation.
{Phil's newborn picture / My newborn picture}
I guess we shouldn't be surprised if he is born with hair.
And perhaps the discrepancy in our cheek volumes is the fact that Phil was born weighing like 6 lbs and I was born weighing over 9 lbs. Ok so Baby Janney will probably have my cheeks. :) Hopefully not my birth weight.
And yes, I was born with a perfect "blue steel" look.
We had what will hopefully be our LAST ultrasound for Baby Janney yesterday. Laying on your back for 30 minutes with a full bladder while some pushes an ultrasound sensor against your protruding belly is definitely not a fun experience. And since she spent 25 minutes measure things like his head and he abdomen (and freaking me out by spending like 10 minutes looking at his heart), with approximately 2.5 seconds to get a glance at his face, I had plenty of time to focus on my lack of comfort.
At one point, as she was attempting to measure his femur with her firmly pressured sensor, she proclaimed, "Oh there's his leg bone!" I'm thinking, "Yeah, he jabs me with it constantly and your currently pressing REALLY hard on it. I know it's his leg bone." But I didn't say anything. Humanity points for me.
But as his Momma, I can proudly boast that he has the cutest little abdomen/femur/head I've ever seen. And she was able to give us a couple of pictures of his cramped little face.
{He's looking a little cramped in there. Let's go at least 3 more week, buddy!}
He spent the whole time sleeping (which was probably loads better than punching like he at the last ultrasound) with his hand resting across his forehead. Phil says I sleep the exact same way. He's already a little Momma's Boy. :)
Here's the scary part... they are already estimating that he weighs 6 lbs. Now I know that is just an estimate and they can be off. But the perinatologist then mentioned that they usually gain about 0.5 lb per week. I've got about 6 weeks left.
I'll go ahead and bust out my gigantic engineer's calculator for you... that's a 9 pound baby at full term.
9 pounds!!
Yowza!
I pointed out that my mom had 9 pound babies and the doctor then she hoped I had my mom's pelvis.
That weird comment was followed with, "You'd be surprised what will fit out of there."
...
Let's just say the natural induction techniques will begin promptly at 37 weeks. If you have any suggestions about that, I'm more than happy to hear them. I'll be here, gathering Mexican and Thai food menus.
I know I don't post weekly pregnancy updates like some wonderful bloggers do. Truthfully, those posts look like a TON of work. Plus they require weekly pictures to be taken and frankly, that feels like a form of torture for me at this point. Turns out pregnancy + unstable thyroid = RETAINING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF WATER.
Awesome.
Anyway, if case you were keeping track, I am now 34 weeks pregnant. And I am currently wafting back and forth between feeling like time has stopped completely, 9 months is actually FOREVER, that I will never actually have the baby and HOLY COW HE COULD BE BORN IN WEEKS, WE HAVE SO MUCH LEFT TO DO, I HAVEN'T WASHING ANY OF HIS CLOTHES YET, WHY AREN'T THERE MORE HOURS IN THE DAY!
Thankfully, that's where nesting kicks in. And I tackled a few items off my to-do list.
Since Phil and I were both diligently working Saturday, Cotton was quite confused as to why we were both home and yet neither one of us was available for cuddling with him. He checked in with me several times during the day:
What this picture doesn't show is his desperate attempts to crawl on my ever-shrinking lap. Poor, neglected dog. What was Taylor doing all day? Lounging on the couch like a good dog. She's not as needy as the puppy.
He also proved later that he wanted to get work done too:
I should probably pull out my big girl camera to take pictures of my finished products, but that would require actually plugging the camera into my computer and downloading pictures (which I STILL haven't done from my baby shower a month ago!), so Instagram pictures will have to suffice.
I managed to:
- Finish the chenille blanket by sewing on the trim (not pictured). I always forget how long that process takes and how much I absolutely detest it.
- Make two covers for the changing table pad. I also discovered that this fit the cradle pad, which means I don't have to make a special pattern AND the sheets are now dual purpose. YAY! I think I still need to make two more covers, but those should only take about 30 minutes a piece maximum now that I know what I'm doing.
- Make the carseat cover. I know this is a totally NOT NECESSARY baby item (which is why I certainly didn't want to purchase one). But since I cost me about $5 in fabric (plus some fabric I already had), I figured it was a worthwhile project. Plus I kind of love how it looks.
We also attempted to take some baby clothes back to exchange them for larger sizes Saturday morning. Of course, by the time we got to the store we had decided that we really didn't want to exchange anything and just ended up buying him more clothes. I'd call that a win for the baby clothes industry.
I'm slowly but surely get things checked off the to-do list. I think I only have a few sewing projects left and then some random things I need to get done for the nursery.
Slowly but surely. Then maybe I'll use my big girl camera for the big reveal. :)
I guess I hadn't realized it, but getting the rocking chair finished really lifted my spirits and took a HUGE load off my back. I feel like we are SO CLOSE to being done with the nursery now that that project is finished. It's probably because all of the things I have left to do are so small and less time consuming than that one.
Here's a list of things I have left to do:
- Hang Curtains
- Put trim on chenille blanket
- Make 2 or 3 covers for the changing pad. I'm going to use THIS tutorial I think. I may do a little extra tailoring to make the cover fit more snugly.
- Make 2 fitting sheets for the cradle. I'm going to use the same concept as the changing pad covers.
- Maybe make another chenille blanket. This one will be VERY simple and smaller than the last one I made.
- And I want to crochet a blanket for the little man. I'm thinking THIS pattern looks simple enough. I almost started it last night but decided sleep would likely be a better option.
- Crochet some hats.
- Put together artwork for the wall.
- Get Phil to finish and hang bookshelves (he started them this weekend).
- Exchange some of the clothes Phil and I bought. After my baby shower, we discovered we had an ABUNDANCE of 0-3 month clothing. I thought this might happen. So when Phil and I bought a bunch of baby clothes on sale about a month ago, I saved the receipt and left all the tags on in case we would need to exchange them for larger sizes. I think I might do that this weekend.
- Wash all the crib bedding, diapers, wipes, clothes and blankets. Clothe diaper inserts have to be washing several times (they recommend something like at least 3, but morel likely 10 washes) before they are, shall we say, put to use.
- Organize all clothes and blankets.
- Make diaper wipe solution. This will take 10 seconds tops. I'm thinking I will omit the tea tree oil.
- Pack our hospital bags.
It looks like a lot of stuff still to do. But I'm pretty sure most of these projects will only take a few hours. And with my new goal of doing one thing a day, I think it is do-able. Nesting has kicked in full-force which helps. Unfortunately, I have some night meetings in the next couple of weeks which will interfere with my
productivity.
Now I just need to decide which project to do tonight...
Labor day weekend, Phil and I had taken the dogs for a walk one Saturday morning. On the way back, we stopped by a garage sale that was just around the corner from our house. I wasn't looking for anything in particular at the time. But I was kind of thrilled when I saw a glider rocking chair (without cushions). I was kind of glad it didn't have cushions because used cushions would have creeped me out. After talking with the owner, he said he would take $12 for it.
We bought it. Then we went and got some foam and fabric and I made some new cushions. I knew it would come in handy one day when we had a baby. I could just recover the cushions and be good to go.
I found out I was pregnant 4 days later.
I think the rocking chair was a rather fortunate find.
When I was working on my novel during November, I spent a great deal of time in the rocking chair and I discovered something about it... It wasn't that comfortable. This was going to be a problem. It needed WAY more cushioning on the bottom and some better back support.
Now I'm not a master seamstress. Sure, I can sew a bit but I am NO WHERE near a professional. I would LOVE to just buy some new cushions for the chair, but they are pretty expensive. And since Phil's still in grad school and I own a business in a bad economy (read: pay cut), money is a little on the tight side. That's one reason why we have been trying to do everything in the nursery ourselves. Buying new cushions just wasn't something I wanted to spend $100+ on.
So I bought some fabric on clearance several months ago and set it aside. I was dreading this project more than any other. I don't know why. I think because I knew it wouldn't turn out great. And also because I hadn't totally figured out how to change the cushion pattern. But I just needed to get it done and over with.
And I did.
Wednesday night, I decided I would just do it. Of course, I had a helper:
{Drawing the patterns and cutting the fabric was not exactly comfortable or
easy with the baby belly. Thank goodness I had Cotton to hold the fabric down.}
I got most of it done Wednesday night and spent last night finishing the cushions, as well as making a neck pillow (to help me sleep in the chair) and a pillow for better back support.
Don't look at it too closely. I'm not terribly thrilled with how it turned out. But I think as it gets used, the cushion will wear well. I do kind of love the back pillow though. It is a slipcover, so it can be taken off and washing and it turned out almost exactly how I envisioned it.
It is MUCH more comfortable now (a definite must) and currently residing in its new home, the nursery.
That was my last BIG project! Now I just have smaller projects to get the nursery all finished up.
I've had some weird pregnancy dreams. Some of them have been so weird that when I wake up and tell Phil, he looks at me and says, "Yeah... don't repeat that to anyone."
So I don't.
Last night, I had a bad dream.
I dreamt that I had the baby right now, he was 16 pounds (which is terrifying) and then he died.
Obviously, the dream woke me up. Unfortunately, it returned every time I fell back asleep for the rest of the night.
I hate dreams like that. You wake feeling vulnerable and scared. It doesn't matter that I know the odds of any of those things happening is extremely small (especially the part about having a 16 pound baby). The emotions during the dreams are so strong, you just can't shake them.
This was definitely not a great way to start my day.
Thankfully, the little man has been doing everything he can to let me know that he is more than alright. We've had a nice little morning of lots of gentle little movements. Nothing painful or jarring (not like last night when he moved into a position that made it totally impossible to sit down without pain).
Already, he's such a good boy. :)
{From our February ultrasound.
He can go ahead and stay in there until he's good and ready to greet the world.
A part of me can't believe it is already Thursday and another part of me can. This week has been jam-packed with activities and I am seriously looking forward to our weekend that has NOTHING planned for BOTH Saturday AND Sunday. Whoa that was a lot of caps. But it needed to be done. We haven't had an entirely free weekend for at least 10 weeks. All the free time almost makes me want to cry with joy.
What has this week entailed? I'm so glad you asked...
I'll just tell you what we did Monday.
To celebrate being finished with our Bradley Class, we decided to take another class! It was a one-night Baby Care and Feeding Class at the Hospital. I've never had a newborn before, so I am always ready to soak up more knowledge on how to take care of one. And since Phil has had VERY little exposure to babies in his life, he really wanted more information. We are nerds... we like research.
We walked into the class and immediately had to grab a doll to practice with. Phil grabbed the darkest skinned baby doll available, which I thought was funny. We then proceeded to talk about how each of us would have some serious concerns if our baby was that color. I believe Phil said to me that I would have a lot of explaining to do. I agreed with him. However, I know this won't be an issue and our child will be as pasty and white as we are.
We passed the class with flying colors and left feeling like we won't actually kill or harm our future newborn with our ignorance. Money well spent.
The class did, however, completely freak me out about SIDS. I mean, I had known about SIDS and have actually known someone who lost their baby to SIDS, but it wasn't really something I was too terribly worried about. If you know me in person, you'd know this is a small miracle. I'm completely and totally anxious about almost everything. And class woke the anxiety beast in me.
It just so happens that the next day or so, I saw a couple of bloggers mention the Snuza Halo Baby Movement Monitor and I am seriously considering purchasing it.
Sure, it's over $100 (seriously Amazon raised the price $10 since Phil and I looked at it last night), but I think the fact that I won't be sleeping at all because I'll be monitoring my baby's every breath might make it money well spent. Therapy costs more than that.
Alright, I just thoroughly talked myself into it.
Do any of you have any experience with a monitor like this one?
While we may not know for certain what Baby Janney's first name will be, we have known for A LONG time what his middle name would be. I'm pretty sure we both knew what our first born son's middle name would be without ever needing to discuss it. It was just that clear.
Nicholas
I'm not sure how much I have mentioned it on this blog in the past, but Phil has an older brother named Nicholas (for clarifying purposes, I have an older brother named Nicolas without the "h"). He died about 6 years ago in a car accident. I think he was almost 26 when he died.
We've always known that this little boy's middle name would be Nicholas, after the uncle that both he and I will never get to meet on Earth.
I met Phil the year after his brother had died. And while I haven't been around the family long enough to see all of the grieving, I have definitely seen a lot of it. As anyone can imagine, it has been a long process which I don't think has been made any easier with Phil's dad's Liver Cancer being in the picture.
Yesterday was Nick's birthday. He would have been 32. Every year for his birthday, Phil and I go out and have a nice steak dinner (since that is something his brother enjoyed doing). This year, his birthday falls on a night when we have our Bradley class, so our dinner had to be postponed.
So when it comes to Baby Janney's name, here's what we have so far:
As of Saturday, we are officially in the 3rd trimester!!
I'm so excited to be in the "home stretch" but it also feels like 12 weeks is still a long time. I know it isn't and that May will be here before we know it. I'm just so excited to meet our little man! On the same note, I don't want him to come out a single day before he's supposed to. He can stay in there and get nice and strong as long as he needs.
We had a doctor's appointment on Friday and found out that the little guy is already head down. Such a good baby already. I guess it is normal for babies to get themselves into position between 24 and 28 weeks. And my doctor said he isn't likely to flip. And once she pointed out the location of his head and how low it was, she definitely thought he wasn't likely to flip. He's WAY low and using my bladder as a pillow.
The other thing we discussed at the appointment is the fact that I retain water like a champion. Apparently she had noticed her patients with thyroid disorders have a problem with water retention. I noticed a problem with water retention way before I got pregnant, so I can believe it. However, since it took more than 3 liters of water to stay not bloated before I was pregnant, I'm not sure how much it will take now that I am. I'm also not sure how many trips to the bathroom that will cause.
My excellent water retention has made me not that excited to take any pictures of myself. But I decided I should probably put another one up since it has been a while. This was the best I could do last week:
It takes a lot of concentration sometimes. Plus that particular bra has officially given up it's will to live.
I'm so excited we only have 3 months left. Overall, this pregnancy really hasn't been that bad. Sure, I have some aches and pains. But really isn't hasn't been anything out of the ordinary (I think).
For some reason, Baby Janney decided he wanted to have a dance party at work. I didn't object. His kicks aren't uncomfortable and I like to think that he's doing his best to let his momma know that he's healthy and just trying to say hello.
Throughout the day, I try to let Phil know just how active his little boy is being. I know he likes these updates. And so when the little man started getting crazy, I decided he needed to witness the action firsthand.
Please excuse the dog hair on my shirt. There seems to be dog hair on absolutely everything I own (stupid puppy coat just won't finish falling out). And ignore my coworkers in the background.
I think nesting has officially kicked in. Now that the nursery is cleaned out, I REALLY want to get it put together. Here's a list of the things I want to get done for the nursery.
Nursery To-Do List:
- Clean out Nursery
- Put furniture on Craig's List
- Pick Nursery color
- Paint Nursery
- Put together nursery furniture
- Make Baby's Quilt
- Make Chenille Baby Blanket
- Crochet baby booties
- Make Mobile
- Crochet baby hat
- Make cover for cradle pad
- Make Car Seat Cover
My goal is to get most of this list done before my baby shower in the beginning of March. I figure, at that point I will be 31 weeks and don't need to be spending time hunched over my sewing machine. And since we don't have Sunday to do much of anything, this pretty much means you'll find me in the sewing room during all my free time.
There are a few projects I still want to get done after the baby shower, like making some wall art and hanging things up on the walls, etc. But I figure those things will be more manageable when I am a little... bigger.
I just need to make sure I fit in time for my husband, pups, and sleeping at the same time (and cooking, cleaning, and laundry). No big deal.
PROGRESS REPORT:
Phil painted the samples on the walls Monday night. After looking at them at night and with sunlight, I am 95% sure we have picked a paint color.
The baby quilt is ALMOST done! So so close. All it will take to finish it is one evening with enough energy to concentrate and I think I can finish it. I'm not super in love with it, but Phil is.
I bought a few patterns for the baby booties and have kind of muddled my way through each of them. Then I tried them on my cousin's 3 month old and discovered they were TOO SMALL. I'm so glad I know that before I made a bunch of them. Looks like I will be making the next size up.
He wanted to be right in the thick of things, which was really inconvenient. So he took it pretty hard when we put the baby gate up to keep him away from the nursery. And he took it even harder when he had to be locked in his crate so we could make multiple trips with furniture up and down the stairs.
He didn't get his cuddles in. And he decided at 3 AM on Sunday morning that he needed his cuddles. It didn't go over well.
He's not getting on the bed to cuddle at 3 in the morning. Not happening.
But he took full advantage of our morning cuddling at 7 AM.
I can't remember the last time he was so cuddly. He ran over to my pillow, curled up, rested his head across my neck, and slept that way for at least 30 minutes.
It melted my heart.
And I realized while we were cuddling that if my puppy can make my heart melt this much, I'm going to turn to goo when our little boy is here. Absolute goo.
So after my mid week freak out last week, I decided the best way to deal with my mounting anxiety (can we say nesting?) was to make a list of everything we needed to get done and talk it over with Phil.
Phil agreed. He'd much rather help solve the problem than deal with a frantic, irrational pregnant woman.
Saturday morning, we went out for a coffee date.
We split the cinnamon roll and my coffee was decaf. No worries. I do miss caffeine.
And we made the nursery to-do list.
Now I know you can't see the entire list in that picture. Just know this... it's LONG. And most of the stuff on the list, I have to do (unless Phil suddenly learns how to sew which I don't see happening).
But the good news is that I realized most of my projects won't actually take as long as I had inflated in my mind. And that is good news because I kind of want to get the nursery done before March 9th (the date of my baby shower!).
We have a list and we have a plan! Now if you need me, I'll be holed up at my sewing table and going through crap stuff in the nursery. And don't be surprised if most of my posts are centered around craft pictures and the amount of crap stuff we are getting rid of.
Today started like any other day. Totally fine. I was feeling pretty good about the fact that it was already Wednesday. So I got up and get ready, headed out the door for work at just the right time. If I had left a minute later, I would have been late to work.
And then after the staff meeting, the freak-out started. I won't go into the nitty gritty of the freak out and what caused it, but let's just say it may have centered around the baby and all the stuff we still don't have for the baby and the fact that none of that stuff is cheap.
Phil's undergraduate degree is in Chemistry. I'm wondering why it couldn't have been in alchemy. Seriously. Where's a Sorcerer's Stone when you need one? (No? Harry Potter reference anyone?)
Then the freak out morphed into all of the things we need to do before the baby is born. Like the fact that I am making the baby's baby. Or perhaps that the nursery is still holding all of our extra crap we haven't gotten around to throwing/giving away/selling. Plus we need to paint it and put the furniture together and blah blah blah. The list goes on and on.
Pretty much the only thing we are up to date on is the actual growing a baby part and the birthing class. And I suppose those are the important things anyway.
Phil did the best he could to calm me down via text messages and gchat. But really nothing can really calm me down when there is a big To-Do list except actually crossing things off the list. Couple that with the fact that Phil's PhD project needs to be his number 1 priority (after the health of his family, of course) and I kind of feel like I need to be doing EVERYTHING.
Then my baby kicked me and rolled around. I realized that these are good problems to have. At least I'm not worried about having cancer at the moment. :) And that's when the freak-outs ended.
I've lived in Oregon my entire life (minus the year I lived in England, but you get the point). And Oregon is kind of known for our hippy, tree-hugging ways. We are, after all, the home of Portland. I don't know if you've seen Portlandia or not, but let me just tell you... it's true.
It is funny because it is true. And then it becomes not funny because it is so true.
Even though I own a pair of birkenstocks, several flannel shirts, recycle, and my own personal rock climbing gear (because I used to go rock climbing outside fairly frequently in college), I would not consider myself a hippy by any means.
I eat meat. I don't compost. I don't ride my bike to work. I don't use Seventh Generation household cleaners. I don't eat organic. I'm not afraid of BPA (my husband is getting his PhD in toxicology and if you're interested, he can talk for HOURS about how the whole BPA thing isn't factual). I don't use clothe grocery bags.
But now that I am pregnant, I am finding all of these hippy-ish tendencies coming to light. It partially has to do with the almost toxicologist husband. But I'm finding I all of a sudden have this large concern for the environment. Don't get me wrong, I love the environment but I never thought I would make decisions about my baby based on the environment.
How are my hippy-ways surfacing? Let me tell you...
- We signed up for Bradley birthing classes because I want a natural childbirth. If we get down the labor road and I decide I can't take the pain, I reserve the right to change my mind and beg for an epidural. But if I had my choice, I'd rather not.
- I want to clothe diaper. It's partially because disposable diapers are so expensive and partially because I hate the idea of all those diapers doing to a landfill. Especially since I know enough about diapers to know that they take forever to degrade and even if their are incinerated (like the garbage in our area is), burned garbage releases pollutants into the air.
- I want to breastfeed as long as I possibly can (within reason). I'd like to go the whole first year. Part of it is because we are having a boy and study after study has indicated that breastfeeding significantly helps boys with socialization and reading skills (how on earth they confirm this, I have no idea but I did read it). A big part of it is that my husband is still a student and formula, like disposable diapers, is expensive.
- When it came time to pick out bottles for our registry, I only wanted glass ones. Why? Because Phil informs me that glass is the only product that won't have some kind of by-products (like BPA, only real).
I have no idea where any of this stuff came from. I know my family thinks I'm a little crazy and idealistic. But whatever. I'm going to be a new mother and I'm allowed to have my own crazy ideas about how I want to do things, right?
I promise I will still bathe regularly and shave my underarms. :)
So after my endocrinologist made me question if the baby was going to have three arms or something, he said he wanted to have the hospital do some calculations and give that information to my OB so someone a little more knowledgeable could figure out what the effects of the RAI would be on the baby.
And then I didn't hear from anyone for like a week.
Phil and I were pretty anxious at this point. Phil put on his chemist/toxicologist hat and began doing some calculations. He even found the same guidelines the doctors ended up using regarding risk exposure so fetuses. Plus Phil called one of his good friends who also happens to be a nuclear pharmacist and asked him a few questions. After we got done with our own research (which yielded very little on the internet), we felt A LOT better. And a little mad at my doctor for implying I should consider an abortion.
We finally heard from my OB, who recommended we see a perinatologist, just to make sure everything would be alright. Technically, I was a "high risk" pregnancy.
We met with the perinatologist who basically said we really didn't need to be too concerned about the radiation exposure to the baby. WHEW!! Huge confirmation of what we already suspected.
However, they recommended we have some extra ultrasounds done. They wanted to make sure the baby didn't have a goiter (enlarged thyroid) forming and that the baby was growing at the proper rate (since radiation exposure can affect growth rates).
And that's where we are now. These ultrasounds started with the 20 week anatomy scan and we'll continue to have ultrasounds every 4 weeks until Baby Janney makes his debut. So far, Baby Janney is growing just as he should be, measuring exactly as he should. He hasn't even been born and he's already being such a good little boy. :)
I know there are some that believe ultrasounds can be harmful to the baby, but the perinatologist said that isn't true. Plus I already exposed him to some radiation, so what's a little more, right?
So that's the skinny on that. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them. I just wanted to put all of the information about this pregnancy out there. The complete back story. It wasn't the ideal situation, but I also wouldn't change it at all.
.JPG)
.JPG)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
.JPG)
