Outlet

I've discovered something about myself.

Ever since Henry was born, I haven't had a lot of time for myself.  Between a baby, work, Phil and his dissertation, Phil and his dad... I don't have a lot of extra time.  Or any.  And any spare time I have, I try to sleep.  Or do laundry.  More than likely, SLEEP.

But I feel like I am needing something.  While I LOVE being a wife and mommy more than ANYTHING.  But it can't be all that I am.  And now that Henry is starting to have a slightly better sleep schedule and I feel like I am starting to get mommy-hood figured out, I think I have the time to do some more things.

I feel like I need something.  An outlet.  I have been doing a lot of thinking about what exactly that should be.  I want to create.  I want to learn.

My day job constantly requires me to learn.  The more I learn, the more I know there is to learn.  But I need more than that.

I used to have so many outlets.  I used to blog almost everyday.  I would take pictures, sewing, crochet, cook, exercise.  I miss it.  It's time to do a few of those things.  I can't do all of them as much as I did before.  And I am ok with that.  Henry's kisses are so much more fun than sewing.  But after he is sleeping, I need to do something.  For me.

I need it.  It's time.

I have a few ideas.  I have started a list.  Here are a few things from my list:

-  Do an online photography tutorial.  Brittany recommended this one.  I want to be able to take good pictures of my family without it costing an arm and a leg.

-  Learn Spanish.  I got the Level 1 Rosetta Stone for my birthday a couple of years ago.  I never went through it though.  You wanna know the reason?  I was embarrassed to have Phil hear me pronounce things incorrectly.  The guy has seen me through a couple of surgeries, through being extremely hypothyroid, larger than life pregnant (I almost weighed more than he did at one point), give birth, and postpartum.  But I still get self-conscious around him.  I don't get it.

-  Do a sewing project.  I have one in mind.  I don't want to share the details until I actually get it done though.

-  Run.  I know this isn't creating or learning, but I have had this HUGE desire lately to just RUN.  I know this would be EXTREMELY painful, since I haven't exercised in who knows how long.  I'm thinking I might start going to the gym on my lunch break.  I wouldn't go to run.  That would be gross.  But a little weight lifting would be a step in the right direction.


I know these things will take time.  Especially since life is REALLY up in the air right now.  A terminally ill parent, grad school, and a baby have to take top priority right now (not in that order).  But when I can, I think I will start working on my list.