Survive/Thrive

It's about that time... time for a 2014 recap/2015 goal setting.

I started trying to think back over the last year and then I thought about the year before that... and then the year before that.  And I realized they all had a similar theme.

Survive

2012 was getting through cancer and then I was pregnant.
2013 we had a newborn and a terminal parent.
2014 was the completion of Phil's dissertation/defense.

We survived.  There's really no other way to put it.

But you know what... Now it is time for the Janney family to thrive!

(oh that was cheesy)

It feels like we have barely been getting by when it comes to several areas in our lives.  Lots of areas have been suffering.  Obviously this blog was severely neglected.  We have friends we haven't seen or talked to in months if not years.  Our gym has been thrilled with us as customers since we pay every month and BARELY go.

Even though 2014 was another hard year, it was full of some really amazing things.

Healthy family, a new home, Phil finishing his doctorate.  In reality, I couldn't have asked for a better year.

But I am hoping 2015 will give us some time to settle in and really create a clear path for where we want our family to go.  Phil and I will be sitting down and filling out THIS SHEET from Emily Ley.  I also really want to get her Home Base Binder, so I can start doing a better job of keeping track of our money and planning.  And I think I need to get Lara Casey's Power Sheets.  I think having a written out plan for where I want things to go will help me keep my goals at the forefront.

In the past, I used to have a "bring it on" attitude towards each new year.  But after several years of it being "brought", my attitude has changed.  Now I feel like each new year is a total mystery, filled with both positive and negative challenges we will be faced with.  But I am hopeful.

2015, please be good to us.

I've earned a Cherry Limeade

Our little man is officially 8 months old.

I can't really get over that.

In a way, I believe it.  If I think about everything that has happened in the last 8 months, it seems unbelievable.  We keep hoping that life will calm down a little and we can take a breath and then we get thrown another curve ball.

Like a stint in the hospital right before Phil has a huge presentation that requires him to work around the clock.

But whatever.  We will get through it.

I will confess that I was feeling extremely overwhelmed this week.  It felt like Henry was never going to get better.  They put him on an antibiotic that he happened to be taking before and get some hives.  I was imagining having to go BACK to the doctor for mystery hives on the sickness that will never end.  Seriously, this started with swollen eyes two weeks ago.

Poor guy.  He flinches whenever I try to put anything near his head.  Between the eye drops, inhaler, antibiotics, Tylenol, and Motrin, the guy is probably DONE with me shoving things in his face.  I wish he were old enough to bribe effectively.  I totally would.

My mom did that to me.  Anytime I had to have blood drawn or get a shot or whatever, she would bribe me with a Happy Meal or breakfast out to eat or something.  To this day, when I am a "brave girl" I reward myself with something.  After one of Henry's newborn appointments when they had to hold him down for something, I made Phil stop at Sonic.  I had earned a Cherry Limeade.

But I digress.

After we got home from the hospital, I was exhausted.  Phil had to leave at night to go work on his presentation which left me to deal with Henry's night-time screaming fits.  I got maybe a total of 6 hours of sleep during the weekend combined.  While I would have liked to stay home, rest, and cuddle with Henry while he was still getting better, I HAD to go back to work.

Cue the GUILT.

Thankfully, my mom was able to watch him all week.  I felt so much better knowing my mom was giving him her undivided attention.  I would go visit him at lunch.  And she sent me picture texts and updates all through the day.

Henry has a follow-up appointment this morning.  I am sure we will get good news.  He is acting more and more like himself.  Yesterday he had ZERO pain medication, which I was happy he didn't need.

And I am going to use the weekend to rest up to start next week rejuvenated and ready to go.

Have a good weekend, all!!!  Rest up!  Stay healthy.  :)

A Season of NEW

{The Hank Man on Christmas Eve with my brother}

Christmas is past, so let the New Years posts commence.  Much like everyone's frantic New Year's Resolution flock to the gym, it is my duty as a blogger to write a New Years post, amiright?  I figured I needed to get this post done sooner rather than later, since one of my New Year's Resolutions will be to be more on top of things.

Done and done.

I not-so-secretly HATE New Year's Eve.  For some reason, I find it extremely depressing.  I don't know if it is because high school and college were filled with some pretty crappy New Year Eves.  Whatever the reason, I despise it.  Henry kind of gives me an excuse to maintain my low-key ways.  I am hoping we can get some take-out, rent a movie, and go to bed early and perhaps Henry will start the 2014 off by sleeping through the night.  A new mother's dream.  :)

It's also not a secret that the last couple of years have been nothing short of a challenge for Phil and I. 2011 was filled with trying to have a baby and then trying to find out if I had cancer.  2012 was the year I dealt with cancer.  2013 made me a mother and we lost Phil's dad.  I don't hate the last few years for being hard.  The challenges made me grow as a person and helped to build a strong foundation for Phil's and my marriage.

However, I'm hoping for a low-key year.

I'd like a year with few major life changes.  No health crises.  Perhaps a year of not meeting my insurance deductible.

I'd like a year that we aren't functioning in full stress crisis mode.  A year where we can sit and relax and enjoy this life we are building together.

I want to sit and play with Henry without feeling major life events looming over me.  I want to find the joy in taking care of my husband, son and puppies.

But I think what I am most excited about, is I want to discover what I'm about again.  I used to LOVE doing so many things.  Cancer and pregnancy helped rob me of my motivation to do the things I love.  Now I'm not even sure what those things are anymore.

Because I am not the same person anymore.  The last few years have REALLY changed me.  Part of it is that I am emotionally different now.  I deal with things a lot differently now.  But I am physically missing my thyroid.  I have heard horror stories from people post thyroidectomy that their energy levels never get back to what they once were.  I need to find my new normal.

For the first time in a few years, I am hopeful.  I have a sense of peace about this next year.

So Phil and I are preparing to say good-bye to 2013, and cheers to a happy, healthy 2014.

Happy New Year!