I'm not going to lie... I really struggled for the first 6 weeks of Henry's life. Not because he wasn't a good baby (because he was) but more just adjusting to life, mixed in with some baby blues. With the end of Phil's dissertation on the horizon, I knew I would need to switch into super wife mode so that he can focus solely on finishing. That seemed impossible. And I was needed back at work, but working seemed impossible. The house was in shambles. How am I supposed to clean when all I wanted to do was stare at my baby and cry?
Slowly but surely, I was getting back to myself. And things like laundry didn't seem like impossible tasks.
Then we had to make an emergency trip to Virginia. Phil's dad had/has sepsis from 4 different bacteria. We were there for a week and he was in the ICU for another week after that. It's looking like he might be nearing the end of his battle with Liver cancer, but who really knows. He is home from the hospital now. But it sparked a lot of questions and feelings for everyone regarding the end of his life and just the grieving process in general.
But while we were back there, Henry and I spent a lot of time alone. And I had to do laundry and cook AND work while I took care of him by myself. And you know what? I did it! Sure it took way longer, but things still got done. And that kind of pushed me out of my remaining baby blues.
We've been back from Virginia for about 10 days and we are starting to get our bearings straight again. Although it is hard to get into any kind of a routine because Phil will likely be heading back to Virginia again here soon. And then Henry and I will be home alone with the dogs.
Oh the dogs... Cotton overwhelms me lately with his energy. Deep breaths, Natalie. He's a sweet little dog, but he definitely needs his exercise.
So that's what has been going on around here. I have been kind of wrapped up in my own little world, just trying to figure everything out. It kind of feels like when it rains, it pours and there are just so many things going on. Phil and I have been trying to focus on keeping things as simple as possible and enjoying our handsome little man.
And he is handsome.
.jpeg)
.JPG)
Our goal for the next couple of weeks is just to get some kind of a morning routine down so that I can get to work before 10 in the morning. I think it will require me to get up at the crack of dawn. Oh wish me luck.
your son is just so adorable!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Phil's dad, keeping you guys in my thoughts! But look at your little man, he's just gorgeous! And that routine, you'll get there, some days I'm still struggling (even with some more experience :-))
ReplyDeleteGood luck girl.
ReplyDeleteI think it is badass you were brave enough to share this. I read something the other day about how there is so much pressure on new moms to be happy all the time and act like the first couple months with a newborn aren't hard. I'm due with our first here in a month (a boy as well) and I want to share the ups and downs and make being a new mom REAL, not just happy. Your little dude is handsome!!! Thanks for sharing this and sending thoughts and prayers for Phil's Dad.
You can do it momma!!! You are so strong, and hey - on the days where it's hard, it's okay to cry. Once you're done crying, take a good, long look at that sweet little boy that you've brought into the world and know that he's a miracle and that it is all so. worth. it. I think it's bull crap that some people act like these first few months are easy, because they're not. They're hard. That's why babies are cute - it's their saving grace. ha!
ReplyDeleteHe really is handsome! Congrats on everything.. My baby boy turns three months today so I can totally relate to what you are talking about here... but it helps me when I remember there are good days and not so good days but you always get a fresh start tomorrow! (and all those quotes about not worrying about a clean house start making more sense...) Enjoy your little cutie!
ReplyDeletexo
You are so strong! Isn't it funny how we don't know how we survive, we just do? I've given up on worrying about housework getting completely done. Just a little at a time. We're trying to get a schedule down too. It's hard, especially when traveling through timezones.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Phil's dad....I can't even imagine how hard that would be mixed in with working and taking care of a newborn. But sounds like you are doing a GREAT job!! I struggled with baby blues/postpartum anxiety big time for the first month...so I totally understand those feelings! By the way, Henry is ADORABLE!!! =)
ReplyDeleteWhat an adorable kid.
ReplyDeleteHope all is settling down into a routine now. Wishing your little family all the very best!