Livers are Important: A Final Update

On Monday, November 18, Phil's dad passed away.  I hate to say he lost his battle with non-alcoholic Liver Cancer, because that sounds strange to me.  When the doctors only gave him 6, maybe 12 months to live, he lived over 3 years.  He definitely gave Liver Cancer a run for its money.

Ed's diagnosis came 2 months after Phil and I were married.  I barely knew my in-laws at all.  And here I sit, 3 years later.  I know them a lot better.  But I never really got a chance to know Ed outside of his cancer.  I realized when we were with family in Virginia that Ed was so much more than his cancer.  So many stories from his sister about when they were little.  Or stories from Phil about when he was younger.  In fact, most people who came to the viewing and funeral mentioned they didn't realize he was so sick.  Because he didn't mention it to them.  So much more than cancer.

The last couple of months have been especially hard.  When he got sepsis in July, we flew back to Virginia in a hurry.  We honestly didn't think Ed would be coming home from the hospital.  We debated packing funeral clothes, just in case.  But he had to defy the odds again.  And he survived 2 more bouts with sepsis.  But I have thought several times over the last couple of months how hard the whole process must have been for him.

He didn't talk a whole lot.  One of the few ways I was able to have a conversation with him was to talk about Virginia Tech football (which I started keeping track of for that very reason).  But he was a very proud, stoic man.  And I can only imagine that knowing he would be leaving his wife and son behind must have been really hard for him because you could tell he liked taking care of his family.  And he did.  He did so much to take care of Faith, even after he was gone.  You could tell from the way he tried to get things organized, so it would be as easy as possible for her.  Still taking care of her, even after he is gone.

To Ed, that's just what you did.  You took care of people.  It was just the right thing to do.  And that was evident at his funeral.  One man came to his viewing that hadn't seen Ed since high school.  He came up to Phil and told him about how he was picked on in school and Ed was the only person that was nice to him.  And I'm sure Ed didn't think twice about it.  But for that man to show up at his funeral after 40 years... that says something to me.

While I am glad his suffering is over, I am also really sad.  My heart hurts.  I'm still struggling with the fairness of this whole situation.  None of it seems fair for this family.  Faith and Phil already lost Phil's brother, Nick, in a car accident.  And now they have to lose Ed as well.  It is just so unfair for them.  My heart hurts for Faith.  Even the idea of losing a son and then husband so early makes me want to run into the corner and cry.  I'm sad for Phil, that he doesn't get more time with his dad.  I'm extremely sad for Henry and any future siblings he may have because they won't get to know their Papa Ed.  We will have plenty of stories and I have a few pictures of Ed holding Henry from our visit in July, but it won't be the same.  And I honestly am sad for myself.  I'll never get to foster a relationship with my father-in-law.  And I'm mourning that loss.

Thank you to everyone who prayed and supported us during this process.  We honestly think all the prayers helped give Ed more time.  And we all needed that time.  How do you possibly prepare to lose someone from your life?  I still don't know the answer.  I don't think that there is one.

Now we will all try to navigate through the grief.  I just hope I can continue to handle this grieving process and be there for Phil.  Because that's what you do... take care of your family.

Skipping Thanksgiving

Things have been really hard around here.

We are into November now.  Phil is home (YAY!) but with being home comes a big dose of reality.  We don't know when his dad will pass away, although we think it will be sooner rather than later.  Phil's feeling stressed about his dissertation.  Can't say that I blame him.

The change in time and change in the weather has made it darker, colder, and gloomier around here.  It takes me back to a couple of years ago, when we were trying to get my thyroid nodules figured out.  The phone call at 4:55 to come to the doctor's office.  The LONGEST 5 minute drive with my dad, in the dark, while it rained.  And all that followed.  Even though things turned out alright, the fear still feels real and current.

So many hard things coming up and hard memories from the past, all at the same time.

It is making being thankful at Thanksgiving seem like an impossible challenge.

A combination of everything kind of makes me want to just skip Thanksgiving.  Can we start focusing on Christmas?  I want to decorate.  Christmas lights.  A Christmas tree.  Cider.  Presents.  Scented candles.

My baby's 1st Christmas.  I want to just bask in that.

But I think Phil might not go for it.  Doesn't mean I can't start preparing.  Part of the preparations includes STOCKINGS.  Henry needs a Christmas stocking.  A proper one, with his name.  I'm thinking something like this:

{Pottery Barn Stockings}

Even though he won't remember this Christmas at all, it is time to start the Christmas traditions.  And when the dark, cold nights start to make me remember scary times from the past or sad times yet to come, I will try to remember that this is Henry's 1st holiday season.  And I am grateful and excited for that.

Livers are Important... Another Update

Do you ever just not know how to start telling a story?  That's where I am with this post.  There are all the vague things that I could use like "Life is crazy" or "So much has happened" but that just doesn't seem to do justice to what has happened in that last week.  I guess I will just start.

There are so many details, it is almost hard to know where to start and what to share.  For the sake of respecting my in-laws and their privacy, I guess I will just give the gist.

Here we go...

Last Tuesday, Phil's dad went back to the hospital.  He has drains that help drain his liver and after the tube change, he developed another blood infection.  This is at least the 3rd one he has had since July.  But things were looking really bad this time.

At one point last week, they thought his kidneys might be failing.  He had a seizure.  His sodium levels were dangerously low.  He was sleeping all the time and seemed confused when he was awake.  They even had to intubate him at one point.  And the only way to treat this infection was to put in more drains.  His dad had very clearly said NO to more tubes.  They were afraid to let him go home because they thought it would kill him.  It looked like it was a matter of days before he would pass away.

With that in mind, Phil left for Virginia last Friday.  We bought him a one-way ticket because we didn't know how long he would need to be back there.  But we knew he needed to be there.  Henry and I stayed behind, thinking we would be following in a couple of days to go back for the funeral.

But his dad started doing better.  They had given him some IV antibiotics which he responded well to.  At this point, they started talking Hospice again.  In the past his dad wouldn't even entertain the idea of Hospice.  This time he listened.  By some small miracle, he agreed to Hospice earlier this week.

Now they are preparing to send his dad home.  All the durable goods (like a hospital bed) are being delivered Thursday morning and his dad should come home, which is what he wants.  

The nurses and doctors have told Phil they think he has a matter of week(s) to maybe a month, assuming the infection doesn't come back.  Nobody knows if/when the infection will come back, since Hospice doesn't do antibiotics.  Phil is staying a little while longer to make sure his dad gets settled and his mom has what she needs.  But I think he will come home in a couple of days, baring his dad taking a quick turn for the worst.

One of the biggest challenges during this time has been deciding what Phil should do.  Where he should be.  Last week, it was a matter of deciding when he should go back there.  Now that he is there, when does he come home?  I know he wants to be there with his dad and mom and I can't blame him.  But I know he misses Henry and I (probably Henry most) at the same time.

I'm a little afraid Phil will come home and his dad's infection will come right back.  At the same time, Phil can't be gone for a month.

Losing a parent really hard and I think it is even harder for Phil since he is so far away.

So that's what is happening at the moment.  At least on the east coast.  

Ed was diagnosed with Liver Cancer in August of 2010.  They gave him 6 months to live, maybe 12 months at that time.  He has made it over 3 years.  It's been a long, hard fight and it looks like we are facing the end of it.  Please pray for Phil and his family as they go through this crazy difficult time.

The Happenings

Oh how life just keeps on throwing curve balls.

I'm not going to lie... I really struggled for the first 6 weeks of Henry's life.  Not because he wasn't a good baby (because he was) but more just adjusting to life, mixed in with some baby blues.  With the end of Phil's dissertation on the horizon, I knew I would need to switch into super wife mode so that he can focus solely on finishing.  That seemed impossible.  And I was needed back at work, but working seemed impossible.  The house was in shambles.  How am I supposed to clean when all I wanted to do was stare at my baby and cry?

Slowly but surely, I was getting back to myself.  And things like laundry didn't seem like impossible tasks.

Then we had to make an emergency trip to Virginia.  Phil's dad had/has sepsis from 4 different bacteria.  We were there for a week and he was in the ICU for another week after that.  It's looking like he might be nearing the end of his battle with Liver cancer, but who really knows.  He is home from the hospital now.  But it sparked a lot of questions and feelings for everyone regarding the end of his life and just the grieving process in general.

But while we were back there, Henry and I spent a lot of time alone.  And I had to do laundry and cook AND work while I took care of him by myself.  And you know what?  I did it!  Sure it took way longer, but things still got done.  And that kind of pushed me out of my remaining baby blues.

We've been back from Virginia for about 10 days and we are starting to get our bearings straight again.  Although it is hard to get into any kind of a routine because Phil will likely be heading back to Virginia again here soon.  And then Henry and I will be home alone with the dogs.

Oh the dogs... Cotton overwhelms me lately with his energy.  Deep breaths, Natalie.  He's a sweet little dog, but he definitely needs his exercise.

So that's what has been going on around here.  I have been kind of wrapped up in my own little world, just trying to figure everything out.  It kind of feels like when it rains, it pours and there are just so many things going on.  Phil and I have been trying to focus on keeping things as simple as possible and enjoying our handsome little man.

And he is handsome.

Our goal for the next couple of weeks is just to get some kind of a morning routine down so that I can get to work before 10 in the morning.  I think it will require me to get up at the crack of dawn.  Oh wish me luck.

A hard week

This has been a tough week.  And it's only Wednesday.

I don't want to get into too many details at the moment, but basically we received some not great news about Phil's Dad.  (I haven't written about it in a while, but for those who are new:  Phil's dad was diagnosed with Liver Cancer in August of 2010).

On top of the normal anxiety of dealing with having our first child and Phil working his butt off to finish his dissertation, this HUGE thing happened too.  It is almost too much to process all at once.

That's kind of how life has felt ever since we got married.

-  We got married.

-  2 months later Phil's dad's liver ruptures.  He has Liver Cancer.

-  Phil and I decide a few months later we want to start trying to have a baby.

-  6 months later we find out we are fertilly challenged.

-  2 months after that my nodules are found.

-  We spent the next 6 months trying to figure out if I had cancer.  Turns out, I had cancer.

-  2 surgeries.

-  Radioactive iodine and whole body scan.

-  2 months later, new doctor orders neck ultrasound.

-  Ultrasound leads to more tests.  Tests come back clean.

-  Our little miracle happens.

-  All the while, Phil works like crazy to finish his PhD.


So Phil and I have spent the last couple of days just trying to process the news about his dad.  Regardless of the things that have happened since we got married, it's hard to know exactly what to do with not great health news about a loved one.  But on top of everything else, it feels compounded almost.  It feels like we are barely able to shake one huge thing and another rains down.

As we have sat and talked over the last couple of days, there has been this strange dichotomy of emotions.  Complete sadness over the fact that Phil's dad's cancer has gotten worse and then total joy when our son gives a giant kick.  Life and death so close together.

We are doing alright.  Thankfully we have a huge support system around us.  My family loves Phil probably more than they love me (can't blame them, he's awesome).  And my friends are pretty much the best.  And we have the added distraction of trying almost anything to get this baby out so we can meet him.

But it has been a hard week.  I'm ready for Friday.  And labor.

We appreciate your prayers and support.  It means a lot.  And hopefully I'll have more of an update soon.


PS - Reason #8593 to have a dog.  Cotton didn't leave Phil's side when he was upset.  He was a total sweetheart and just cuddled with us for hours.  This picture is old, but you get the idea.

Random Recap

I had topics planned for all of my posts this week and I only wrote 2 of them.  This wasn't exactly a "planned" post, but this week has been weird enough, that I was given enough crap to put together a random recap.  Lucky you.


-  Because I have "gotten" to have so many medical things done this year, I have also been given the privilege of paying a TON of medical bills.  Oh joy, I can sense your jealousy.  I had been putting off paying the last of them for a couple of months (just because I was tired of saying good-bye to my money), but finally starting getting scary letters so I had to do it.  I paid the LAST of them in August.  It was a painful and liberating experience.  But I was extremely miffed when I went through the mail the other day and found ANOTHER bill.  And I was especially upset when I noticed it was for a bill I had already paid!

So I called the company to sort this whole thing out.  I was prepped with my indignation, payment receipt, and credit card statement, but was caught extremely off guard when a breathy woman speaking very softly answered the phone.

Since I could barely hear her, I was really hoping that she would transfer me to someone else.  But as the conversation went on, I realized that this woman could also have doubled as a phone- youknowhwat operator.

It made it very uncomfortable when she said, "Mrs. Janney what can I do for you?"

She wasn't able to figure out my bill and promised to call me back this week.  I'm not looking forward to it.



-  As I mentioned earlier this week, my father-in-law will be starting oral chemotherapy for his Liver Cancer in the next week (hopefully).  As a part of the visit with the oncologist, they were given a great deal of information regarding the chemo, as well as advice and tips on dealing with probable side effects.  Because it is supposed to cause sores on the feet, it is recommended that patients receive a good pedicure prior to beginning treatment.  I believe the theory is that smoothing out the skin on the foot and moisturizing it will help minimize the sores.

Now that you have all vomited in your mouth, I will continue.

I'm sure it isn't a HUGE surprise to anyone that my 62 year-old, southern born and bred, engineer father-in-law isn't thrilled at the prospect of getting a pedicure.

Phil and I have decided we will be paying for and scheduling his pedicure for him.  It gives him fewer escape routes that way.



-  Cotton has decided he is part cat.

His new favorite perching spot is the window sill.  But he gets a little freaked out when he can't immediately get out of the curtains.



-  Phil knows I am a 5-year-old...

He packed extra candy in my lunch for me this week.  Gotta love that man.

update update update

Thanks so much for your kinds words on Friday.

I got an update from Phil Friday afternoon.  It was the kind of update that required a phone call because there was a LOT of information.

It started with Phil telling me about the intern that was supposed to be helping him with part of his dissertation.  He quit.  That officially put him on my ish list.  Phil has spent so much time showing him how to do things and putting together a step-by-step procedure for him.  And then he quit.  I just LOVE that my husband ended up wasting time showing him how to do it and then he didn't even stick around long enough to actually do the task.

Then Phil told me about his dad.  Long story short, he will be starting chemo right away.  There is only one chemotherapy drug available for Liver Cancer and it is in oral form.  It has some different side effects compared to the more typical chemotherapy.  The main side effects are extreme fatigue (makes sense), some  stomach problems (no details needed), and sores on the palms of the hands and bottom of feet (which is really weird and sounds painful).

He'll start on half the normal dose and then have some tests done to make sure his heart and thyroid (hey I know that word) are functioning properly.  The medication is six week on, two weeks off.  And he should be just starting when we go visit them this month.

Hopefully he has an easier time with the specialty pharmacy than I did.

I was relaying this information to some of my friends this weekend to which they replied, "How does Phil handle all of this?" and then they started listing all the craziness that Phil has had to endure.  His brother dying.  Moving across country.  Dad with Cancer.  Wife with Cancer.  Finishing a PhD.

And he's not a huge jerk, totally stressed out, weigh 300 lbs, or addicted to anything.

It's more totally the opposite.  Once again, I am totally in awe of him.

I'm such a jerk, I didn't even make his coffee this morning.  Bad wife.

Phil and I agreed Friday was a FULL day.

A Pic and Dads' Health

Cotton sometimes gets confused he is a dog and not a human.

This isn't what I meant when I said "sit".  Silly boy.

No big post today.  My dad had an Angiogram this morning.  Eventually turned out fine, but between going to dinner with him last night and then getting up early to be at the hospital this morning (plus being a tiny bit anxious about my dad having any kind of procedure), I'm a little sleepy and light on words (lucky husband o' mine).  You could say I'm a daddy's girl.

Now we just need to find out how Phil's dad's oncology appointment went today and we will all caught up (health-wise for the padres in our lives).

Have a great weekend!!  Stay healthy people.  :)

Stress and Botox

As I'm writing this, it is Tuesday night and currently Cotton's "witching hour" as we like to call it.

He's terrorizing Taylor to the point where she finally snaps at him, but then he keeps taunting her and she just runs away.  Kind of making it worse.  Good times.  Not totally sure how you make one dog be less of a pushover, but I'm pretty sure once he is bigger, she'll have no problem putting him in his place.  She's too nice for her own good.

I'm not.

Between the no sleep, doctor's appointments, and drama with Phil's dad... this week has been stressful.  While Cotton is quite a good boy for most of the day, I do not look forward to his witching hour.  It's ok.  It won't last forever. 

Phil's dad had some complications which included some kind of bacteria escaping from his liver.  He got a fever and uncontrollable shakes, which he felt didn't exactly need to be reported to the hospital right away.  Being on the other side of the country causes a little bit of stress for us especially when we hear that he is having symptoms that something is wrong and won't call the hospital.  Parents.

Phil had a decent talk with his dad Tuesday night, where he explained to him that we don't nag him to be annoying.  We just want him to live.  Novel concept, I know.

Anyway... in an effort to cope with that stress and the general anxiety I have about my upcoming appointments, I am doing my best to "self-sooth".  Apparently I have no stinkin' idea how to do this.  But I am going to try and get up early, take my time getting ready, have a nice bowl of cereal, get something tasty to drink from Starbucks, and take deep breaths while I wait for my lady parts to get checked out.

Hopefully Phil will take me out to dinner afterwards.  Or at least pour me a glass of wine.  :)

We'll get through the week.  And hopefully this weekend will be filled with naps.

On a completely unrelated note, I went to a "spa night" at my dermatologist's office.  I was by far the youngest person there and didn't win a single thing.  No Botox for me.  I think it was rigged.

It's all good... I don't need Botox anyway.  With my health luck, I would end up getting Botulism from it.

Tired

I'm a little tired this morning.

Ok that's a lie.  I'm VERY tired this morning.

Cotton woke up 3 times in the middle of the night last night.  2:30.  3:40. 5:30.

And then when I slept longer than I should have, it was a mad dash to get showered, ready for work, Cotton fed, Cotton's bladder and bowels empty, Cotton's crate ready, and get Cotton in the crate.  Did I mention we have another dog too?  Yeah Taylor is a piece of cake.

The good news is that I am a little too tired to stress about this week.  I've got 2 doctor's appointments this week.  One is my annual exam, which really shouldn't be a big deal.  I have never been nervous to have one done.  Honestly, they really never bothered me.  Are they fun? No.  But no big deal.  Until last year.  And now I find myself VERY anxious about all medical appointments.

I have a feeling when I see the nurse and she asks me about my cancer (which she will), I will burst into tears.  I kind of feel like I should say something to her.  Perhaps a "thank you" for finding my nodules while they were still so small?  I know it is her job, but I'm so glad she does her job well.  Even thinking about it makes me a little emotional.

My second doctor's appointment this week is to see a new endocrinologist!!  I called their office last Friday to check on any cancellations and they had one for A MONTH sooner than my appointment.  YAY!!  I really hope this endo is a better fit for me.  Not sure I can handle going back to the one I have now.  I'm going to give myself a heartache just for these follow-up appointments.  Pretty sure that isn't ideal.

Also, today Phil's dad goes in for a scan to see if the treatement he had done is working for the tumors in his liver.  And we REALLY want this scan to be good.  If you want to throw out a prayer for Phil's dad, I'm good with that.  :)

For now, I will leave you with a super cute picture of Cotton at the park yesterday.  We had the small dog park to ourselves while Taylor played with some big guys.  And I am going to get another cup (or 7) of coffee.

Friday and Friends

Usually, I love Fridays.  Friday is my favorite day of the week.  But this last Friday totally sucked.

-  I have some inflammation in my eye that, if it keeps coming back, is probably caused by an auto-immune response.  I thought by getting rid of my thyroid, I was getting rid of my auto-immune disease (Hashimoto's).  Hopefully now that my body can't attack my thyroid, it won't start attacking my eye.

-  The dog we were hoping to get our puppy from was due on Thursday.  According to the breeder, we are pretty far down on the list for a puppy so we are at the mercy of mother nature.  We are hoping like crazy that the dog has LOTS of girl puppies but we have been preparing ourselves for some disappointment.

In reality, these feelings of waiting and disappointment are scary to Phil and I for another reason completely unrelated to the dog.  Because Phil and I have had some problems having a baby, adoption is definitely an option we are considering.  And while I think adoption is wonderful and I always figured we would end up adopting someday, HAVING to adopt and CHOOSING to adopt feel very different to me. 

In addition, we are very aware of how emotional and heart-wretching the adoption process can be.  And if we are this anxious and nervous about a puppy, how tremendous will those feelings be when it is our future child?  After all the heartache, worry, sadness, and fear of the last year, facing that process seemed impossible.

-  Phil's dad had a procedure done Friday to put in a drain to drain the excess bile from his liver.  One of his last tumor treatments caused some scar tissue to form in the main bile duct.  Since the bile can't get out, it is backing up into the liver, causing his liver to be engorged and his liver function numbers to be all out of whack.  They can't do his next tumor treatments until his liver function numbers are back down.  And since the first attempt to fix the bile duct didn't work, they have to do this drain thing.

Before they put in the drain, they did another CT scan.  The scan showed that there is a third tumor is that bigger than the other two and the other two tumors have also grown.  The doctors don't feel like they can't wait very long to treat the tumors so they will need to do that before his liver function numbers are down to where they should be.  And that can increase the risk of infection when they do those treatments.  If your liver gets infected, you die.  Needless to say... Not great news.


Things felt like one step forward and two steps back.  Like there was always going to be something there to kick us back down.  And Phil and I were pretty upset.  Even though we didn't exactly feel like being social, we had plans to meet with our friends Ian and Morgan at a local bar so we did that.

{I got the bar a little before everyone else, so I read my new book}

I am SO GLAD we had those plans.  A couple of beers, some hilarious awkward conversations (courtesy of your's truly), and a LOT of laughs were just the ticket to snap us both out of our bad moods.

Saturday morning things look a lot differently.

-  My eye is probably fine.  And even if this thing keeps coming back, my doctors are on top of things.

-  If we don't get a puppy with this litter, we know of a couple of other litters that are due pretty soon and we would be close to the top of the list for those.  And if we end up going through the adoption process, we will take everything one step at a time, knowing full well that our future family is worth every tear and moment of turmoil.

-  Phil's dad's doctors are working really hard to stay on top of his tumors and his liver function.  Even if they can't open the bile duct, the drain can stay in for a long time.  And since men (well, Ed at least) don't wear skinny jeans, he can hide the drain without anyone even knowing.  Just got an awesome mental image of Phil's dad in skinny jeans with a pink T-shirt.


Life is messy.  Especially right now.  But that is ok.  Even though sometimes it feels like this stage of health problems and bad news will never end, I know that isn't the case.

{Image found HERE from my pinterest}

And until our season of challenges ends, I am so grateful for friends that will commiserate with us and then distract us.  When we are through it all, we will take you out to drinks.  Our treat.

Cancer Sucks

Sorry I haven't posted anything in the last couple of days.  Things have been H.A.R.D.

{Cancer Sucks bracelet in Thyroid Cancer colors.  Because cancer REALLY DOES suck.}

This week has been really hard.  Lots of anxiety about my surgery, fears about cancer in general, dealing with people, having hard conversations.  I got to a pretty low point on Thursday.  It is by far the lowest point I have been at in a very long time.

Meanwhile in Virginia, Phil's dad found out yesterday that he was having surgery TODAY.  So yesterday when I was having a super hard day and was breaking down (a time when I really could have used my husband), Phil was trying to process the fact that his dad was having a crazy weird surgery (they went through his throat to put kind of like a stint in a bile duct). 

We didn't cover this stuff in our pre-marriage counseling.

To make things even better, Ed's surgery didn't go well.  They accidentally perforated the bile duct.  So a simple outpatient surgery turned into at least a 48 hour hospital stay.  They need to make sure bile and blood aren't leaking into his abdomen.  Plus since pancreatitis is a fairly common occurrence with this procedure, they want to make sure he doesn't get that either.

Excellent news.

Did I mention my surgery is in 4 days?

By the end of the day today, Phil and I were absolutely exhausted.  So many HUGE stressful things happening at the same time.  Both situations would have been stressful enough on their own, but together it is a big challenge.

How do you lean on each other when you are being pulled in so many different directions?

If I am being honest, I am really not happy Ed had surgery right before my surgery.  In addition to the normal fears you have when a loved one goes through surgery, I am facing my own fears about my surgery, and to top it off Ed's surgery didn't go well.

{Caregiver bracelet, Thyroid Cancer Sucks bracelet, and Liver Cancer Sucks bracelet}

Phil and I spent our Friday night going out to dinner, shopping at Target, and watching Once Upon a Time and Big Love, just trying to destress and calm down. 

Cancer sucks.

Livers are important (prayers requested AGAIN)

As if things couldn't get more stressful, we had a VERY stressful few days here in the Janney household. I know I have mentioned it in the past (and HERE, HERE, and HERE), but Phil's dad has heptacellular carcinoma more commonly known as Liver Cancer.

Not much has changed in the past. He gets some tumors, the doctors treat the tumors, and the tumors go away (thank goodness!). His spleen is a little swollen. The cirrhosis is getting a little worse. But overall, his health is good. His liver function has been nice and stable. For having liver cancer, he was doing well.

Lately Ed has been looking a little yellow. Phil's mom had noticed and a couple of people in their church had noticed. So last Monday at a regular doctor's appointment, they checked his liver function. The doctor's office called last Tuesday and his levels were elevated.

Not good.

Liver function blood tests look at a bunch of different things (bilirubin, a bunch of liver enzymes, etc.). So when the nurse that called Ed said his tests were abnormal, Ed asked which ones (he has one enzyme that is usually a little elevated but isn't a big deal). Her answer, "The LFT" aka the Liver Function Test. Ok... You are not helpful.

The tests were to be sent to his liver specialist who would then call him if anything was strange. No call came. Long story short, the tests didn't get sent and has to be sent again. Ed was instructed on Wednesday to get a paper copy to bring to his scan Monday morning. Rather than go find out his test results that day (Wednesday), he waited until Friday.

Thanks Ed.

So Friday finally rolls around and we find out his results... Not good. Almost everything was high. Enzymes that should be around 50 are in the 300s. Bilirubin should be under 1.2, it was over 10. Something wasn't right.

And my understanding is that once the liver function starts to go, they can't do the treatments for the tumors anymore.

Being totally freaked out, we turned to Dr. Google for some answers. What we found out was that either his cancer had progressed a lot or he had a blocked bile duct. That gave us some hope and we prayed like crazy that it was just the bile duct.

It is weird to hope for surgery.

We had to go all of last week and the weekend worried about what Monday's scan and the liver function tests would mean. Would it mean starting a really terrible experience of watching a family member suffer through the end stages of liver cancer? Or would it just be another procedure to deal with. On top of our own feelings about all of this, Ed has been dealing with this very differently than the rest of us. Everyone deals with things differently, I know. But it provides an extra special challenge when the person with access to all the information is happily ensconced in denial.

Anyway, Ed had his scan. They think he has scar tissue in or near his bile duct and that is causing the problems. None of his treated tumors have come back. The tiny tumors he has haven't grown very much. And he had one new tumor that is very small. The doctors also think Ed's tumors growth has changed and that he might slow down when it comes to tumor growth.

All in all, some pretty great news. We are so relieved. It is hard enough to deal with knowing a family member is going to be fighting an uphill battle with cancer. Throw grad school and dealing with my own cancer and upcoming surgery... It has been a challenging week.

Here is the latest prayer request:
- Prayers of thanks for good news about the liver function tests and the tumor growths.
- Prayers that the doctors are right and he gets fewer and fewer tumors.
- Prayers for guidance for the tumor board as they decide how to treat the existing tumors.
- Prayers for a successful procedure on the bile ducts and the tumors.

Sorry for the novella here.


Love, Mrs. Janney

Weekend Snapshots

Friday afternoon was rough for Phil.  His dad was having another procedure (using a hot needle from outside of his body) for his liver tumors and it had some complications we weren't anticipating.  It had Phil's mom pretty upset and thanks to bad cell phone reception, at one point Phil thought his dad may have died.  Thankfully that wasn't the case.  But as you can imagine, it was emotionally taxing for Phil.  Even after that got cleared up, there could have been additional complications we were worried about.  His dad didn't have any additional complications and got to go home Saturday.  YAY!

I decided we needed a low-key Friday night to help Phil relax.  We headed to Red Robin for dinner.  Did you know you can order their burgers on lettuce rather than a bun? 

I didn't know that.  I decided I would give it a try (not for health reasons but because I wanted to eat more fries and not feel guilty about it) and it was DELICIOUS!!  Seriously never order a burger on a bun there again.

Then we headed home and played Hand and Foot while eating Teddy Grahams dipped Strawberry Cream Cheese and spiced Apple Cider.  Yes we are 80 years old.

Sunday, we went to a harvest fest at the Willamette Valley Fruit Company with my parents, Nick and Steph and the little boys.  It was really cute to watch them run around.  We attempted to do the corn maze as a family, but my mom and Jake weren't having it.  So Nick, Phil and I did it ourselves. 

It took us about 45 minutes to do the intermediate difficulty but that was mostly because it was REALLY muddy.  My shoes didn't have the best traction.  I was better off skating than trying to walk.  I may have fell down 3 times.  At least once on my butt.

Here are some pics of the boys:

Chicken Nuggets

After getting back from the family camping trip and running a couple of errands, I was in no mood to cook lunch.  Nothing sounded good.  So I let Phil decide what we had for lunch.  He chose Popeye's.

By the time we get to the restaurant, it is about 2 in the afternoon and we are STARVING.  I was about ready to eat my car cushions, I was that ravenous.

We go in to order and there is one couple in front of us.  Before they get a chance to order, this Asian woman (with a thick accent) comes up to complain about how little food she actually got with her order.  And it worked.  One of the workers gave her more chicken nuggets/popcorn shrimp and she went back to her seat.  The couple in front of us starts to order.  They take A CRAZY LONG TIME to order their 2 dishes. 

In the time it has taken for the couple of order their food, the Asian woman has reappeared with two more of the dishes her group ordered.  This time, to complain about the small size of the chicken nuggets.  Her rant included some of the following statements:

"Anywhere else you go like McDonald's or Wendy's the chicken nuggets are much bigger than this."

"Look at the picture.  The picture shows the nuggets much bigger."

"I can't believe this is all the food you are going to give me."

These statements weren't just said once.  They were repeated at least 5 times each.  Like it would much sense if you repeated the exact same thing a third, fourth or fifth time.  Did she expect the Popeye's employee to say, "Oh!!  I am sorry ma'am.  The first four times you said it, it didn't make sense.  Now I understand.  Please, take all of the chicken nuggets you want."  I was a good 2 seconds away from screaming at her, "THEN GO TO MCDONALDS!"

Now her points might have been valid if she hadn't JUST come up and begged for more food.  Not to mention the general principle that Popeye's is NOT a fine dining experience.  OF COURSE the picture is going to be much larger than the actual food.  And you CAN SEE the actual chicken nuggets right behind the counter.

Isn't that just your stereotypical idea of an American?  Go to a fast food restaurant, get your food and then complain about it until they either give you more food for free or your money back.

It just goes to show that even if English is not your first language, it is still possible to be an ugly American.

When Phil and I went to order (because we still hadn't ordered yet at this point), I asked for the tiny chicken nuggets.  :)

And then later that night, I yelled at a cancer patient.

It was a stellar afternoon/evening.

Livers are Important... Prayers Requested (Part 4)

I probably should have posted an update for this a week or so ago.  Here is the latest information on Phil's dad.

I don't have many pictures of my in-laws and this is the only one I had available to me when I wrote this post on my lunch break.

His last scan showed one tumor and two possible tumors in his liver.  To treat those spots, they decided to do a TACE procedure (which means they go up through an artery in your leg, to the liver and use chemotherapy to kill the tumors).  During the procedure, the did some exploration of the liver and found 4 more tumors, for a total of 7.  They can only treat 4 at a time, so they treated the biggest 4.

After his liver ruptured last year, we all thought that he just had to make it a year without the cancer spreading outside of the liver (the one-year mark is tomorrow).  Turns out, we were slightly misinformed.  He needs to be tumor free, even in the liver, for three to six months in order to be eligible for the transplant.  So each time they find another liver tumor, the clock starts over again.  And the long term goal is a liver transplant.  They can keep doing the TACE procedures for these tumors that pop up as long as his liver function stays up.  And the chemo kind of kills a little part of the liver each time.

They have scheduled another scan in a couple of weeks.  If his liver function tests are normal, he will have another TACE procedure to help treat the other three tumors.  While he is at UVA for those tests/procedures, he is going to talk to his liver doctor about possible clinical trials and other chemo treatments that he might do to try to stop the liver tumors from coming back.  Just long enough to give him that 3 to 6 month window to be eligible for the transplant.  It feels kind of like a race because it is still a possibility that the cancer could spread to other organs, at which point he isn't eligible for the transplant anymore. 

Last week, Phil's dad had to head back up to UVA because he developed an infection from the procedure.  His dad waited 2 days after he first developed a temperature to call the hospital and report it.  OF COURSE they told him to come in immediately.  I am still in shock about that whole series of events.  He is lucky the infection didn't spread more.  We are thankful for that.

So that is the medical part of the update.  The non-medical side is almost as aggravating to me though.  Everyone is coping with things in their own way.  In the last month, the weekly phone calls have centered mostly around liver cancer (which is understandable) and they usually involve everyone being frustrated and yelling (can we say AWKWARD?).  It is fun.  I almost went into the details on this, but I will refrain for now.

So here is the list of prayers I am requesting:
-  Ed's liver function to stay up so he can have the TACE procedure in a couple of weeks.
-  The scan in a couple of weeks to not show any new tumors.
-  No more infections.
-  The doctors come up with a good treatment plan for Ed so he can qualify for a transplant.
-  Good communication and understanding between everyone.
-  Patience, understanding, and a sense of calm for everyone in the family.

We really appreciate everyone's prayers through all of this.  There is nothing worse than going through something like this and feeling like you are alone.  If you are a friend of Phil's or his mom, Faith, I hope you will be there for them and help them through this process.

Now go pray!  :)


Love, Mrs. Janney

Livers are Important... Prayers Requested (Part 3)

Ed had another scan done this morning and the news wasn't the greatest.

They found another tumor, maybe 3.

His case goes before the Tumor Board at his treating hospital on Friday and we will hear what they think on Monday.

I am requesting prayers for the following things:

-  Comfort for Ed, Faith, and Phil as they cope with this less than stellar news.
-  Knowledge and guidance for the tumor board as they meet and determine the best treatment path.
-  And healing for Ed and his body (obviously).

We still don't know the details of the scan.  The radiologist (who isn't my favorite) only looked at the liver scans before he met with Ed and Faith this morning.  We don't know if the cancer has spread, which is one of the main things I am worried about.

Thank you for your prayers and support.  I think every prayer helps.

Love, Mrs. Janney

Unhelpful Suggestions

As mentioned earlier, I have been working on retaining walls for a few days.  A couple of days ago (when the wall parameters were really strict), my dad came up to me and was telling me about some of the information my father-in-law gave him when they were visiting a couple of weeks ago.

Apparantly, my father-in-law told my dad about how they used to use MathCAD for completing calculations (like retaining walls).  He kind of suggested we look into such a program for our design.

Let me just say that retaining wall calculations, while confusing and long aren't impossible to do by hand or in Excel.  And MathCAD costs LOTS of $$$$.  And we are in a recession, with shrinking staff.  Why on earth would we spend lots of money on a program we DON'T need?

My in-laws do this ALL THE TIME!  You don't ask for their opinions, but they tell you anyway. 

My mother-in-law has done it before with when we should have children.  I dare her to give me her opinion on that again.  I'd love to give her my opinion on her opinion.  :)

Love, Mrs. Janney

Livers are Important... Prayers Requested (Part 2)

So I first wrote about my Father-in-Law and his Liver Cancer HERE.  He has had another scan since then and the news was good, but not great.  The spot chemo on his liver tumor was successful.  The tumor looks complete dead.  So as of that last scan (in March), his liver is tumor free.  Great news!  Also, there were a bunch of spots on the scan that they weren't sure if they were tumors or just residual chemo.  This last scan didn't sure the spots, so they are pretty sure they weren't tumors.  More great news!  However, they did find a spot on one of his kidneys that they are a little concerned about, so they are keeping on eye on it.  Not so great news.

The problem is that I guess Liver Cancer is really only cured with a Liver transplant.  And if the cancer spreads to outside of the liver, Ed won't be a great candidate for a transplant.  Apparantly he already isn't a great candidate because of the way his liver ruptured (or something like that.  I am not clear on the specifics). 

If he doesn't qualify for a transplant, they will treat the tumors as they come with the spot-chemo method they used last time until it doesn't work anymore.  And that could work for a really long time.  Hopefully Ed's cancer is super slow growing and so if he couldn't get a transplant, he wouldn't have any new tumors for a while.

So... Ed's next scan is scheduled for June 13th.  Obviously the scan will show what as already happened.  But I am asking for prayers for Ed, Faith and Phil for this next scan.  I am hoping for some super great news. 

Thank you for all of your prayers!  This is definitely not something I envisioned Phil and I would be dealing with so early in our marriage.  All your support means a lot to me.

Love, Mrs. Janney

I just thought this post needed a picture.  I can't remember where I got it from.

Livers are important! Prayers Requested

Not sure if I have mentioned this in the past, but Phil's family had quite the family emergency in the beginning of August. Pretty sure I have mentioned this. Time for an update I guess...





Phil's dad's liver started bleeding one night in August. After being rushed to the hospital and life-flighted to another hospital, we found out he has Liver Cancer (heptacellular carcinoma to be more precise). They removed about 40% of his liver to get rid of the tumor. The treatment plan has basically been to wait and see if it comes back. The liver doesn't really take chemotherapy very well so it can be more harmful than helpful sometimes.





He went back in for a MRI before Thanksgiving to see if he had any new tumors (a sign of how aggressive the cancer really is). They found another tumor, but it is a tumor he already had that they missed the first time around. The plan of action was to go and cut off the blood supply to the tumor to kill it that way. That was supposed to happen A couple weeks ago. During the procedure, they found for some reason that they couldn't totally cut off the blood supply to the tumor, so plan B was to cut off as much blood supply as possible and use some chemotherapy directly on the tumor. So that is kind of where things are. He is just trying to heal from that procedure and deal with some of the lovely side effects of chemotherapy. I don't think they are as bad as full chemotherapy like some people have to have, but it definitely isn't a walk in the park either.





We are so thankful that Phil's dad is even still alive. I mean, if things had gone even a little bit differently in August, he probably wouldn't be here anymore. It is just another reminder of how much your life can change in a matter of seconds. I honestly think Phil's brother, who died in a car accident almost 4 years ago, was up in heaven, keeping his dad safe. Not everyone may believe that but come have a conversation with my about my sister and 2 oldest nephews and you might understand why I believe in gaurdian angels.








Anyway, we are heading back there for Christmas with Phil's family. Historically, his parents and I haven't gotten along that well. I don't know why. I'm as charming as a kitten. :) I honestly wonder sometimes if it isn't a geographical miscommunication or something.


So... Here is a list of prayers I am requesting:

- For the healing of Phil's dad.

- That is procedure and the chemotherapy work together to get rid of his liver tumor.

- No more liver tumors.

- Good guidance and knowledge for the team of doctors working on Phil's dad.

- Patience and comfort for Phil's mom. Between losing one son in a car accident and the other son to me, I think she might think the worst sometimes.

- Comfort for Phil.

- And finally, patience and understanding for me.



Thank you for the prayers! I hope everyone has safe travels for the holidays!


Love, Mrs. Janney