Friday, February 10, 2012

Cancer Sucks

Sorry I haven't posted anything in the last couple of days.  Things have been H.A.R.D.

{Cancer Sucks bracelet in Thyroid Cancer colors.  Because cancer REALLY DOES suck.}

This week has been really hard.  Lots of anxiety about my surgery, fears about cancer in general, dealing with people, having hard conversations.  I got to a pretty low point on Thursday.  It is by far the lowest point I have been at in a very long time.

Meanwhile in Virginia, Phil's dad found out yesterday that he was having surgery TODAY.  So yesterday when I was having a super hard day and was breaking down (a time when I really could have used my husband), Phil was trying to process the fact that his dad was having a crazy weird surgery (they went through his throat to put kind of like a stint in a bile duct). 

We didn't cover this stuff in our pre-marriage counseling.

To make things even better, Ed's surgery didn't go well.  They accidentally perforated the bile duct.  So a simple outpatient surgery turned into at least a 48 hour hospital stay.  They need to make sure bile and blood aren't leaking into his abdomen.  Plus since pancreatitis is a fairly common occurrence with this procedure, they want to make sure he doesn't get that either.

Excellent news.

Did I mention my surgery is in 4 days?

By the end of the day today, Phil and I were absolutely exhausted.  So many HUGE stressful things happening at the same time.  Both situations would have been stressful enough on their own, but together it is a big challenge.

How do you lean on each other when you are being pulled in so many different directions?

If I am being honest, I am really not happy Ed had surgery right before my surgery.  In addition to the normal fears you have when a loved one goes through surgery, I am facing my own fears about my surgery, and to top it off Ed's surgery didn't go well.

{Caregiver bracelet, Thyroid Cancer Sucks bracelet, and Liver Cancer Sucks bracelet}

Phil and I spent our Friday night going out to dinner, shopping at Target, and watching Once Upon a Time and Big Love, just trying to destress and calm down. 

Cancer sucks.

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