- I have some inflammation in my eye that, if it keeps coming back, is probably caused by an auto-immune response. I thought by getting rid of my thyroid, I was getting rid of my auto-immune disease (Hashimoto's). Hopefully now that my body can't attack my thyroid, it won't start attacking my eye.
- The dog we were hoping to get our puppy from was due on Thursday. According to the breeder, we are pretty far down on the list for a puppy so we are at the mercy of mother nature. We are hoping like crazy that the dog has LOTS of girl puppies but we have been preparing ourselves for some disappointment.
In reality, these feelings of waiting and disappointment are scary to Phil and I for another reason completely unrelated to the dog. Because Phil and I have had some problems having a baby, adoption is definitely an option we are considering. And while I think adoption is wonderful and I always figured we would end up adopting someday, HAVING to adopt and CHOOSING to adopt feel very different to me.
In addition, we are very aware of how emotional and heart-wretching the adoption process can be. And if we are this anxious and nervous about a puppy, how tremendous will those feelings be when it is our future child? After all the heartache, worry, sadness, and fear of the last year, facing that process seemed impossible.
- Phil's dad had a procedure done Friday to put in a drain to drain the excess bile from his liver. One of his last tumor treatments caused some scar tissue to form in the main bile duct. Since the bile can't get out, it is backing up into the liver, causing his liver to be engorged and his liver function numbers to be all out of whack. They can't do his next tumor treatments until his liver function numbers are back down. And since the first attempt to fix the bile duct didn't work, they have to do this drain thing.
Before they put in the drain, they did another CT scan. The scan showed that there is a third tumor is that bigger than the other two and the other two tumors have also grown. The doctors don't feel like they can't wait very long to treat the tumors so they will need to do that before his liver function numbers are down to where they should be. And that can increase the risk of infection when they do those treatments. If your liver gets infected, you die. Needless to say... Not great news.
Things felt like one step forward and two steps back. Like there was always going to be something there to kick us back down. And Phil and I were pretty upset. Even though we didn't exactly feel like being social, we had plans to meet with our friends Ian and Morgan at a local bar so we did that.
{I got the bar a little before everyone else, so I read my new book}
I am SO GLAD we had those plans. A couple of beers, some hilarious awkward conversations (courtesy of your's truly), and a LOT of laughs were just the ticket to snap us both out of our bad moods.
Saturday morning things look a lot differently.
- My eye is probably fine. And even if this thing keeps coming back, my doctors are on top of things.
- If we don't get a puppy with this litter, we know of a couple of other litters that are due pretty soon and we would be close to the top of the list for those. And if we end up going through the adoption process, we will take everything one step at a time, knowing full well that our future family is worth every tear and moment of turmoil.
- Phil's dad's doctors are working really hard to stay on top of his tumors and his liver function. Even if they can't open the bile duct, the drain can stay in for a long time. And since men (well, Ed at least) don't wear skinny jeans, he can hide the drain without anyone even knowing. Just got an awesome mental image of Phil's dad in skinny jeans with a pink T-shirt.
Life is messy. Especially right now. But that is ok. Even though sometimes it feels like this stage of health problems and bad news will never end, I know that isn't the case.
And until our season of challenges ends, I am so grateful for friends that will commiserate with us and then distract us. When we are through it all, we will take you out to drinks. Our treat.
I can only imagine the difficult time you are going through, but as you said, I too am so thankful for friends! They really are what can pull you through some difficult times, but yet keep you smiling through the good too! Love that quote as well, and I'm sending a few extra smiles your way! :)
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