This has been a tough week. And it's only Wednesday.
I don't want to get into too many details at the moment, but basically we received some not great news about Phil's Dad. (I haven't written about it in a while, but for those who are new: Phil's dad was diagnosed with Liver Cancer in August of 2010).
On top of the normal anxiety of dealing with having our first child and Phil working his butt off to finish his dissertation, this HUGE thing happened too. It is almost too much to process all at once.
That's kind of how life has felt ever since we got married.
- We got married.
- 2 months later Phil's dad's liver ruptures. He has Liver Cancer.
- Phil and I decide a few months later we want to start trying to have a baby.
- 6 months later we find out we are fertilly challenged.
- 2 months after that my nodules are found.
- We spent the next 6 months trying to figure out if I had cancer. Turns out, I had cancer.
- 2 surgeries.
- Radioactive iodine and whole body scan.
- 2 months later, new doctor orders neck ultrasound.
- Ultrasound leads to more tests. Tests come back clean.
- Our little miracle happens.
- All the while, Phil works like crazy to finish his PhD.
So Phil and I have spent the last couple of days just trying to process the news about his dad. Regardless of the things that have happened since we got married, it's hard to know exactly what to do with not great health news about a loved one. But on top of everything else, it feels compounded almost. It feels like we are barely able to shake one huge thing and another rains down.
As we have sat and talked over the last couple of days, there has been this strange dichotomy of emotions. Complete sadness over the fact that Phil's dad's cancer has gotten worse and then total joy when our son gives a giant kick. Life and death so close together.
We are doing alright. Thankfully we have a huge support system around us. My family loves Phil probably more than they love me (can't blame them, he's awesome). And my friends are pretty much the best. And we have the added distraction of trying almost anything to get this baby out so we can meet him.
But it has been a hard week. I'm ready for Friday. And labor.
We appreciate your prayers and support. It means a lot. And hopefully I'll have more of an update soon.
PS - Reason #8593 to have a dog. Cotton didn't leave Phil's side when he was upset. He was a total sweetheart and just cuddled with us for hours. This picture is old, but you get the idea.