Thursday, September 11, 2014

If we are being honest...

... I would have to tell you that I am struggling.

I do not have this working mom, graduate wife down.  AT.  ALL.

I am 5 minutes late to work more days than I am not.

I've had laundry clean, unfolded on the couch for at least 2 weeks.

In the last 2 weeks, we have had to eat fast food for dinner (Phil and I) twice because I was too tired and we literally had NO FOOD.

Today marks basically the 1,400th day I haven't gone to the gym in the morning.

We won't even talk about the last time my house got really properly cleaned.  
As in completely dusted, vacuumed, bathrooms cleaned, dishes done all at the same time.

There are so many projects that have been started and then never finished.  
I actually think I bought a photography tutorial a year ago.  Still haven't gone through it.  
As a self-motivated person, I hate that.

I go into kind of a panic when I think of adding in another baby to the mix.  I don't think we are quite ready for that.

I feel like I am just putting out fires and trying to do what I need to do to survive the week.  I can't seem to get ahead of the game.  The other day, Phil and I were talking about getting new phones and I almost don't want to do it because I don't want to deal with learning a new phone.

That's dumb.

But I'm not throwing myself a pity party!  Nobody ever said being a working mom was easy.  And I've never really heard anyone talk about how easy it is to have their spouse near the end of their dissertation.  But just because something is hard doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.

I'm determined to not sacrifice my family's health, our relationships, or our finances as we navigate the next 3 months.  We can't eat fast food all the time.  We can't be so stressed out that we are grumpy to each other or other people.

The truth is that we are in the home stretch.  This is the hardest part, not only because we both just want it to be over, but also because it is when a lot of the work has to happen.

I'm going to figure out a plan.

I just haven't figured it out yet.

My mom reminded me of the phrase, "You can have it all, but you can't have it all at once."  And I am minding of feeling like that is true.

So what do I give up?


I'll keep you posted on what I figure out.


  1. Im a SAHM and I have the same laundry situation... lack of organization, not got it all together either. But my family is happy and the mess clearly waits. I am getting better, we have good productive days and not so productive days! I think you are doing it right, as far as I'm concerned. Im a list person and need to get back into that habit! I find more stuff gets done and not pushed to the side! Hang in there mama! You are doing great!!

  2. SAHM here, too. Same story. There's never enough hours in the day to do it all. But damned if I don't try.

  3. Hire a housecleaner. The energy math just doesn't work out with all the stuff you have to do. At least for the next 3 months and then you can go back to doing it yourself. Best thing I've done, just so I can breathe when I come home no?

  4. Man, I really know how you feel. I haven't mastered the med student wife, working grad student gig yet but I'm trying to tackle one little thing at a time with the hopes that at some point I'll have it all back going again.


Let's be friends. I hope your e-mail is attached to your profile! Then I can e-mail you back.

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