No Control = Cooking

The past couple of weeks have been a bit of a struggle for me.  Some stuff at work has been really making me feel deflated.  And we are nearing hopefully the end of grad school for Phil which adds more stress.  Throw in some toddler tantrums and basically I get slapped with the following realization every day...

I am in control of nothing.

Of course life situations don't really change this.  We are never really in control of anything.  But with everything that is going on, I am feeling really helpless.

I finally realized that the way I have been coping with this is Pinterest (like HERE).  I have been doing A LOT of cooking lately.  New recipes.  Meals from scratch.  Cakes.  

Two such cooking excursions happened this weekend.

First, Braxton and I make pumpkin patches based on THIS PIN.

{Henry did a great job watching}

{Henry liked it}

Then I decided to make THIS CAKE while Henry napped.  I took it to a family birthday party and got LOTS of compliments (which weren't warranted because it's a box cake mix, but whatever).

It was an adventure in food coloring.

I am feeling an really intense need to create and craft.  Maybe it's the fact that I am in control of the outcome and I get to see the fruits of my labor?  I don't know.

But if you are getting a Christmas gift from my family this year, you can probably expect it to be handmade.  Pinterest and I have some work to do.

5 Things Friday

1.  This week was long.  And for some reason, everyone in my house is really tired.  I don't know if it is the weather or what.  I guess it could be that we haven't gotten the temperature right in the house at night, so all three of us are waking up multiple times a night.  Either way, Phil fell asleep yesterday afternoon, Henry fell asleep on the way home last night, and I was in bed at 8.


2.  Joanna and I started trading baby-sitting every month so we each get an opportunity to go on a date with our husbands.  Last month, it was our turn for the date.  This month, it is Joanna's turn.  I am so excited because this means we get to hang out with Braxton!!  As an honorary "Auntie", I want some fun things to do with Braxton.  And maybe Henry will join in as well.  We will only have a couple of hours because we are going to go to church and then to our church's harvest festival.  But you know what looks like fun?  This:

{From HERE}

Or this:

{From HERE}

We might have to wait on the second one though.  I doubt I can keep Henry from putting his paint covered hands in his mouth.


3.  Last week there were 7 birth announcements on my Facebook page.  SEVEN!!  At least.  It might have been more.  When I pointed this out in a status update, someone commented saying "What was happening 9 months ago?  Must have been some good New Year's parties."  I thought that was kind of funny.


4.  Henry had his school pictures Tuesday which OF COURSE means he fell down and scraped his face on Monday.  So we had scraped forehead, wound above the eyebrow, and a scratch on the nose.  If nothing else, it will accurately represent how he looked as a toddler.  A clumsy toddler.

{Oddly enough, you can't see any of his owies in this picture.  

I doubt that will be the case for his school pictures.}

But my fingers are crossed that we can make it through the day without going to the ER or the doctor's office.  It would be the first Friday in 4 weeks.  Fingers crossed real hard.


5.  Here's a random fact about myself:  I kind of hate when things end.  Specifically TV shows and movies.  I LOVE Gilmore Girls.  Own every season.  I have NEVER seen the finale.  I listen to Hocus Pocus religiously in October (mostly while I am getting ready in the morning).  I don't usually listen to the last 15 minutes.  And that's true of most movies.  I have read the entire Harry Potter series at least a half dozen times, except for the final book.  That one I have read twice.  Just one more thing that makes me weird.  :)


Happy Friday!  Here's hoping Henry lets us sleep in tomorrow until 9 like he did last weekend (it was AMAZING).

3 Glorious Days

I love 3 day weekends. 

Partially because Sunday afternoons depress me.  It's a long story, but it has to do with the way the sky looks in the afternoon.  (Yeah I'm weird)  They don't depress me so much when there's another day in the weekend. 

Three day weekends give you plenty of time to get everything you want done, but also relax at the same time. 

And 3 day weekends make the work week 4 days.  Hence why I am still confused as to what day of the week it is.  But I am always pleasantly surprised when I think it is Tuesday and really it is Wednesday.

Labor Day weekend was a raving success.  Filled with time with family and friends, getting projects done, and relaxing.  I know what you are thinking... Isn't Thursday a little late for a weekend recap?  Probably.  However,  I was too excited about my bread making endeavor and my wonderful news to do the recap sooner.

Friday night, we spent celebrating Braxton's birthday.

{Excuse the blurry picture.  I'm still learning to use the lens I got for Christmas}

Saturday, Phil and I went to the gym (which is nothing short of miraculous), then apple picking, a nap, and dinner with my parents.

Sunday Phil went fishing while I made bread and applesauce.  Afterall, the previous day we got a 5 gallon bucket of apples for $9 and I love applesauce.  Regular and cinnamon with no added sugar.  Again... my hippy-Oregonian-I-should-have-been-a-pioneer roots are coming out.  If only I had a loom and my own kiln...

Also on Sunday, while walking the dogs on Sunday, we walked by a garage sale in our neighborhood and found a cushion-less glider for $15.  I managed to talk the guy down to $12, knowing I could (and wanted to) make new cushions.  So Monday afternoon (after lunch with a very good friend of mine), I made cushions for the seat, back and foot stool of the rocking chair.

It is SO comfy and ready to have me spend a nice long rainy afternoon reading in it.

Plus, Cotton allowed me to do an impromtu photo shoot.  Here's my favorite picture:

I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for a regular 2 day weekend.  I'm sure I'll survive.


Side note... Tonight, we are going out to celebrate my awesome cancer-free news.  I think champagne is in order.

Happy Birthday Braxton!!

I can't believe you are 2 years old already!!  You are my favorite Asian nephew.  :)  Even if you won't hug me unless I bribe you.  I bought you a present, that should get me at least a hug, right?

Happy Birthday!

Babysitting

Saturday, Joanna let us watch Braxton while she went to a wedding.  We had a BLAST with him!!

Cotton was so excited to see someone closer to his side, so he may have gotten a little rambunctious with Brax.  But overall, they did ok with each other.

Like any good baby-sitter, we immediately plopped him in front of the television...

{Thomas the Train (or "Mommas" as Brax calls him) is funny}

While Taylor stood watch...

Then we read an ABC Book of Shakespeare characters to him...

It was educational for him, I'm sure...

And I fed him aged cheddar and crackers, along with chocolate cream cheese.  His parents are foodies.  I know they would appreciate it...

And he snuggled with Uncle Phil...

And mostly, Cotton slept (after he got done biting)...

We are awesome babysitters.

I think Braxton had a good time.  He [Braxton] is a very well-behaved boy.

Weekend Recap

This weekend was a good and hectic one, filled with friends, family, and projects.  Here are some highlights:

I spent Friday night with Jenna and Danielle at the OSAA Dance and Drill State Compeition.  It brought back lots of memories.  Mostly of disappointment.  Hard work leading to no pay-off.  Dance team would have been a completely different experience if our team had been good.  Or had actual coaches.  It is nice to see other teams do well though.


Saturday, I went shopping by myself and found this gem:

It is currently being transformed.  I was only interested in the frame which cost a whopping $10.  Phil wants to keep the picture and the pink matte, but I said no.  A girl's gotta put her foot down sometimes.

I made low-iodine spaghetti sauce which required me to chop an entire head of garlic.  I think my hands may still smell like garlic.

We had drinks and dinner with our Irish friend (it was St. Patrick's Day afterall), Ian.  And we discussed the restaurants poor adverstising of Boddington's (which they pronounced Buddingtons) as an Irish stout (which it is totally not) and the fact that St. Patrick's Day parades always have men playing bagpipes dressed in tartan kilts (while bagpipes and tartan kilts are Scottish, not Irish).  Then we watched Michael Collins while I folded all of our laundry in front of Ian.  He's now seen all of my underwear.  The best part is that I don't think he had noticed until I pointed it out.  Awkward points for me.

Sunday we went to my brother's house to celebrate David's birthday.  Since David is 4 (and thus a certified tattle-tell), he was really concerned when my oldest nephew, Daniel, had gone to the bathroom and locked the door.  He proceeded to tell my brother that it was wrong and wanted to know what Daniel was doing in the bathroom.  That conversation went like this:

David:  But Daddy, why does Daniel have the door locked?

Nick:  Probably because we wants some privacy.

David:  But with the door locked, I can't get into the bathroom.

Nick:  Which is probably why Daniel locked the door.

David:  But what he is doing in there?

Nick:  He is probably going to the bathroom.

David:  But he is not peeing or pooping.  What is he doing in there?

Nick:  It's none of your beeswax.  Just leave him alone.


Then Sunday evening, we went to Josh and Joanna's house for a home-cooked meal.  It was crazy good.  The best part was when Josh was holding Braxton on his lap and trying to get him to sit down with the phrase, "Sit down Brax or Daddy will shoot the Easter Bunny."


It was a great weekend.

HELLO February and Happy Birthday Jo!

January is probably one of my least favorite months.  Ok it is probably my absolute LEAST favorite month.  I didn't set any New Year's Resolutions this year except to "Kick Cancer's Ass."  I think spending the month healing, decided to do another surgery and radioactive iodine, and scheduling the 2nd surgery all fit into that resolution.

I think we can count January as a success in terms of my resolution.

Go me!

I am so glad that February is here.  With the start of February comes Joanna's birthday!!  Here is a quite outdated picture of my friend:

{At her Baby Shower}

She got rid of the belly approximately 17 months ago (with the birth of her baby boy).  Still just as pretty.  :)

Let me tell you how fantastic Joanna is (and this is a recent list because the full-on list would be super long):

-  She has been a constant support for me through this whole cancer thing, starting WAY back when it started.  This includes not getting mad at me for telling her I had cancer with a text message that said, "thyroid cancer."

-  She lets me fawn over her baby pretty much whenever I want.

-  She texts me pretty much EVERDAY.  Sometimes asking how I am doing.  Sending me cute and funny videos and/or photos of Braxton.

-  She took an entire day off of work and put Braxton in daycare to spend the day with me after my surgery.  She basically watched me sleep.  And then she gave me a manicure.

-  On multiple occasions, she has sat and been sad with me.  Cried and sulked with me.  And then when I am ready, started pointing out the bright side to me.

I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing friend.

Happy Birthday Jo!!  Love you!!

PS - In the background of that picture is Rikkie.  She is also super amazing too, just in case you wanted to know.  Seriously, she's like Superwoman.

Ten Little Things, vol. 3

E is hosting another link-up today and after several moments of "oh crap there is no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I can come up with ten things" I decided I will give it a whirl.  I still think the first and second lists I made are better though.  Just fair warning.

10.  It has been raining A LOT here in Oregon.  Shocking, I know.  Oregonians are used to a little bit of rain a lot of the time, not a lot of rain in a little bit of time.  So now we are all worried about flooding.  Freaky.  It freaks me out a little more because I am a civil engineer and part of my job is to calculate detention storage, drainage systems, and grading so that things (like houses) don't flood.  Watching my boss freak out and frantically check out projects he did 10 or 20 years ago does not make me super excited for my stress level in the future.

9.  Today is the 5th anniversary of the death of Phil's brother.  Every year, I try to prepare myself for how Phil will act because I can not relate to such a tragedy.  I have no idea what it is like to lose a sibling (thank goodness).  In the past, Phil and I have gone out to eat for a steak dinner on this day (something his brother really enjoyed doing).  Last year, Phil decided he wanted to change that tradition and rather than go on the day his brother died, he wants to go get a steak dinner on his birthday.  I think that is MAJOR progress in his grief and I am so proud of him.  So tonight, we are going to the Mongolian Grill and going to a movie. 

I never got to meet Nick (Phil's brother.  I also have a brother named Nick), but Phil says I would have liked him.

8.  Our puppy search is going well!  We found 2 breeders that we are really excited to work with.  We filled out the applications and I think Phil sent them to the breeders.  We are SUPER excited.  All this talk of getting another puppy has caused Taylor to get showered with love and affection.  I'd say it is a win/win for everyone.

Don't forget to vote on a name for the puppy!

7.  Last Friday night, Phil was going to be late coming home from school so I decided to go to the gym (for the first time in a long time).  I figurded the gym would be empty... NOPE.  There were so many people there.  And my neck was all, "What is this crap?!?"  I haven't been back since.  Maybe tomorrow.

6.  Last Saturday Phil and I went to an early dinner at Red Robin.  We sat in the bar (no wait) at a booth.  We both ordered our food and were eating in peace, despite the group of men sitting at the bar watching the 49ers game.  They were all rooting for the 49ers like they were betting on it or something.  We are talking lots of hooping and hollering and "up top!".  It was super annoying.  I wanted to tell them, "You're not at a sports bar.  Stop."  After several annoyed glances over at them, I noticed they each had like 3 milkshake glasses in front of them.  We were about done eating when Phil told me to look over at them...  The largest guy's pants had slipped down and he hairy crack was hanging out for the world to see.  It was bad.  And I don't mean that in a judgemental kind of way, but in a "please don't show me your pooper while I am trying to eat" kind of way.  Needless to say, I was done eating after that and it still took the waiter 15 minutes to bring us our check.  For every minute that guy emulated a plumber, the tip dropped.

5.  After Red Robin, we went to my brother's house and played canasta.  David (my youngest nephew) and I also played Disney Headbanz.  He is way better at it than I am.  We also made up a new super hero.  David is so stinkin' hilarious and cute.  There are some good David stories HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE.

4.  I haven't talked about it much on here, but part of my thyroid cancer treatment will include radioactive iodine.  That will happen about 12 weeks after my holiday surgery.  To prepare for this, I have to be off my thyroid meds and on a low-iodine diet for 4 weeks.  "What foods is iodine in?" you might ask.  Apparently lots.  Iodinized salt, everything from the sea, meat, dairy, some beans,egg yolks, soy, red dye #3.  Basically I will be eating a lot of salads, no processed food (not hard since we don't do much of that now), 5 oz. of meat a day, only 4 servings of grains a day, a lot of fruits/veggies.  It will be super healthy which is good since I will have no metabolism.  But the thought of no milk makes me want to cry a little.  It will be fine.  I'll do it because I have to do.  Besides, I am rewarding myself afterwards with a puppy.  :)

3.  I have struggled a little bit with blogging lately.  I read a lot of blogs and so many of them show the absolute flawless life of the blogger.  Everything perfectly in its place.  Everything going totally according to plan.  And that is really hard for me right now, where nothing is going the way I had planned it.  And some of these blogs and a ton of followers!  It feels like high school all over again, where everyone wants to be and wants to be friends with the popular girl.  I was not the popular girl then and I am not now either.  But I realized this week that this blog has been a real blessing lately.  I have made some good friends through this blog.  Friends that have reached out to me and helped me during this cancer stuff.  Friends who have had thyroid cancer and have answered A TON of my questions and concerns and have asked others to pray for me.  And while I may not have a ton of followered, I have super high quality blog friends.  And I think that is MUCH better.

2.  Joanna sent me this video last night.  Braxton likes the sound of his dad tenderizing meat.  It is like his own personal dance beat.  I expect tickets when he is a contenstant on "So You Think You Can Dance."

1.  I bought new mascara about a month ago and put it in my purse.  Since then, I keep forgetting to take it out of my purse and put it with my makeup.  So every morning I put on my makeup and think to myself, "Oh dang!  My mascara is still in my purse!  It's ok, I'll put it on when I get to the office.  Or while driving.  Whatever."  Then I drive to work and get to work and forget to put it on.  Then at about 3 in the afternoon, I have a meeting or something and remember I don't have any mascara on.  At that point, why bother?  But you know it looks really weird to have dark eye shadow on with no mascara.  I just need to move my mascara.  We'll see if that happens.


This is my 200th post.  I think that is cool. 


This was by far my lamest Ten Little Things post.  I'm sorry.

Brax Time

Since babies aren't going to be in our immediate future (they tend to frown on cancer and pregnancy) and because my uterus is aching for a Baby Janney, I am doing my best to find a suitable subsitute.

Good thing my best friend happens to have one of the cutest baby of all time.

{Smiling with a mouthful of food.  Doesn't this kid have any manners?  :)}

{He is so independent.  That water glass allowed Joanna and I to eat at a leisurely pace.}

He'll do.

It was during this outing that I accidentally taught Braxton how to wipe his hands on his pants.  (Sorry Joanna!).  He would have learned it eventually anyway.

Good thing Brax loves his Aunt Natalie.  I think he will be seeing a lot of me.  :)





I Got You

I honestly can't believe it is Thursday.  The week has seemed long and short all at the same time.  Weird.  I am so thankful though.  It has been a rough-ish week.

I may or may not have cried while watching "Sister Wives."  Don't judge.  I am sure it was a really deep moment.

Joanna decided she was up for the challenge of being sad with me and then just hanging out.  I am really bad at asking for help with stuff.  I was pretty much raised to be a strong, independent woman.  And while I am a strong, independent woman (I can open jars, lived alone before I met Phil, travelled the world, financial support myself) I think I sometimes take it too far. 

Just because I can be independent doesn't mean that I should attempt being emotionally independent.  When things are hard, it is ok to reach out for people to sit and cry with you, to hug and hold you, and, when you are ready, help pick you up.  Phil does a great job of this, but sometimes you need your girlfriends.

I have definitely had friends let me know that they are here for me and to let them know if I need anything.  I really appreciate it.  It is just so hard to take you up on the offer.  And that is a flaw within me.  I suck at being vulnerable.

So last night, Joanna and I took Braxton to Target, fed him, bathed him, put him to bed, and then ordered pizza and talked.  And because Jo knows me SO WELL, everytime I tried to avoid talking/crying things out with her, she pushed.

It was really nice and exactly what I needed.  It is so nice to have such an amazing friend in my life.

Plus I got to see this guy:

And to everyone else that has so wonderfully offered up your support, thank you!  I am working on letting myself accept your offers.  :)

Sorry for the downer post.  I am trying to be honest here about my life.  I am told acknowledging my sad feelings will help keep them from overwhelming my life.  It helps.  I feel so much better today.

Thanks Jo (and Brax)!!

Happy Birthday Braxton!

Wednesday was THIS GUY'S 1st birthday!!

This is a couple of months old.  Phil and I baby-sat for the afternoon.  He LOVED Phil.

I can't believe he is a year old already.  Josh and Joanna let me come over on his birthday to see him and have dinner with them.  At first Joanna thought I was kind of a weird-o for wanting to come to their house in the middle of the week, but then she realized that I was there for his actual day of birth so of course I wanted to be there for his birthday.

Josh made some amazing fajitas.  They were so yummy.  While he was making dinner, Joanna and I tried to get Braxton walking.  What better day to hit another milestone than your birthday, right?

He had been taking a couple of steps on his own already.  Since he got a HUGE round of applause for even attempting to walk, he got pretty into trying to do it.  As he was walking to his "Aunt Natalie," he took 4 COMPLETELY UNASSISTED PERFECT STEPS right into my arms!!!

We cheered.  Joanna almost cried.  It was awesome. 

Happy Birthday Braxton!!  You keep getting cuter every single day.

This picture is a couple of months old.  He won't be needing the walker much longer!



Braxton Douglas

This week has been kind of crazy because JOANNA HAD HER BABY!!!

I was super excited because (and this is going to sound bad), but since he was earlier than expected (I think her due date was off) her mom wasn't going to be here for the delivery. That left one spot open in the delivery room for... ME!!! I tried to make myself super useful so Joanna wouldn't be annoyed I was there, but there is only so much you can do. I did take my fancy camera I bought myself for my birthday and tried my hand at birth photography. That may sound gross, but it isn't. Nothing revealing or gross. Just some nice pictures of Braxton's journey into the world. :)

Joanna got to look at some of the pictures on my camera while things were finishing up at the hospital but hasn't seen that actual images yet (I guess she's busy or something). I won't share much here because I don't have her permission yet, but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!! He is so stinking cute.




Joanna really hasn't ever held a baby before, but let me tell you, she is a NATURAL. The second they handed him to her, she looked like she had been holding babies her whole life. And Josh's face during the whole process was PRICELESS. We kind of thought he would cry when Braxton was born, but he didn't. Instead he had this look for absolute amazement and excitement. It was so cute.

So I ended up going about 40 hours with like and hour and a half of sleep through the process. Totally worth it, but I am TIRED. Not nearly as tired as these guys will be though...




Welcome to the world, Little Man!!! I am so excited to be your Auntie! :)






Love, Mrs. Janney

P.S. - The nurses in the maternity ward of the Corvallis Hospital totally ROCK!! Thanks so much for being totally awesome.