I honestly can't believe it is Thursday. The week has seemed long and short all at the same time. Weird. I am so thankful though. It has been a rough-ish week.
I may or may not have cried while watching "Sister Wives." Don't judge. I am sure it was a really deep moment.
Joanna decided she was up for the challenge of being sad with me and then just hanging out. I am really bad at asking for help with stuff. I was pretty much raised to be a strong, independent woman. And while I am a strong, independent woman (I can open jars, lived alone before I met Phil, travelled the world, financial support myself) I think I sometimes take it too far.
Just because I can be independent doesn't mean that I should attempt being emotionally independent. When things are hard, it is ok to reach out for people to sit and cry with you, to hug and hold you, and, when you are ready, help pick you up. Phil does a great job of this, but sometimes you need your girlfriends.
I have definitely had friends let me know that they are here for me and to let them know if I need anything. I really appreciate it. It is just so hard to take you up on the offer. And that is a flaw within me. I suck at being vulnerable.
So last night, Joanna and I took Braxton to Target, fed him, bathed him, put him to bed, and then ordered pizza and talked. And because Jo knows me SO WELL, everytime I tried to avoid talking/crying things out with her, she pushed.
It was really nice and exactly what I needed. It is so nice to have such an amazing friend in my life.
Plus I got to see this guy:
And to everyone else that has so wonderfully offered up your support, thank you! I am working on letting myself accept your offers. :)
Sorry for the downer post. I am trying to be honest here about my life. I am told acknowledging my sad feelings will help keep them from overwhelming my life. It helps. I feel so much better today.
Thanks Jo (and Brax)!!