Grey's Anatomy and Dr. 90210

I love Grey's Anatomy.  I always have.  A couple of friends introduced it to me when I lived in England.  We were get together about once a week to have dinner and watch an episode on her laptop.  From there, I was hooked.

But once Izzy got skin cancer, I had a real problem with the show.  I turned into a total hypochondriac.  I was constantly afraid that I had a brain tumor or something was wrong with me.  And this lasted for quite a while.  It scared me into have skin checks (which is probably a really good thing since I have such fair skin) and into making sure all of my physicals were done as soon as possible (which also turned out to be a REALLY good thing).

When I found out I had thyroid nodules, I immediately had to STOP watching Grey's.  Even though I had seen all of the episodes and knew how it all turned out, mentally I couldn't handle it.  And it got even worse when the nodules turned out to be cancer and I knew I had to have a surgery.

I was so petrified of having surgery, it probably sent me into crying attacks daily.  Despite the fact that I knew it was fiction.  I knew the types of cases they had on that show were SUPER rare and that most surgeries went off without a hitch.  Otherwise, no one would ever have surgery.

So in order to prepare myself for having surgery, I started watching Dr. 90210.  I figured, if those people were CHOOSING to have surgery, then it really couldn't be that bad.  And I really didn't have a choice.  I NEEDED the surgery.  I even watched at least 3 or 4 episodes of it the day before my surgery, to really DRIVE it home.  In a really weird way, watching Dr. 90210 completely worked.  I watched person after person have surgery and come out totally fine.

After my first surgery, I found out that I actually performed REALLY well under anesthesia, which was the main part I was afraid of (well that and having the surgeon accidentally cut a major artery in my neck which, again, was always INCREDIBLY unlikely).  The fact that I had done SO WELL during my first surgery made it so I hardly worried about the second surgery.  I just wanted to have it over with.

Since putting cancer behind me, I have decided I can start watching Grey's Anatomy again.  I skip certain episodes though (since some of the story lines still get me).  It helps that things have gotten so ridiculous on that show that it is almost laughable.

But what it really tells me is that I am not nearly as irrational/crazy as I used to be.

I figure that's always a good thing.

PS - But I do sometimes wonder if something weird happened during my surgeries, like they always show on TV.  I'll probably never know (and that is totally fine with me).