I am nervous about surgery. I think that is totally normal. It would probably be weird if I wasn't a little nervous before surgery. There are a couple of concerns I have, which range from normal to completely irrational.
1. What if the surgeon slips and accidentally cuts my artery?
This would qualify as an irrational surgery. The surgeon works at probably the best hospital in the state. Plus she's been a surgeon for 30 years. And she is double certified as an ENT surgeon and a microvascular (I think) surgeon which I think means she is specialized in veins. And finally, she has multiple awards in her waiting room, toting her as one of the top 100 surgeons in America for thyroid care, thyroid cancer, and neck surgery.
2. General anesthia.
I think this is a rational fear as there are always risks when you undergo genearl anesthia. I have been under before and everything was just fine, so that makes me feel better. But seeing as this is my major concern, the anxiety has been kind of hard to manage. It is almost to the point where the thought of having cancer has been out of my mind because I am so worried about the surgery (that is stupid).
So I came up with what I thought was a good remedy for my anxiety. I have been watching episodes of Dr. 90210. There are 6 seasons on Netflix. That is a bunch of people who undergo anesthia VOLUNTARILY and all come out fine.
It is kind of helping. I think I should be a therapist.
3. What in the world will a wound in the neck feel like?
This sparked an interesting conversation with Phil last night. I think with certain surgeries, you kind of know what to expect. When I had surgery on my feet, I knew it would hurt to walk. When you have your wisdom teeth taken out, you know your mouth will hurt. But I have never had a wound to the neck. And you don't really realize how much you use your neck. Not to mention that the neck is just a vulnerable spot in general (i.e. no bones or anything protecting it). So I told Phil this last night and here is how that went.
Phil: Well, it won't actually hurt.
Phil: They will do the stitches and the cutting while you are out, so it won't hurt.
Me: Are you serious?
Phil: Yeah. What would you feel?
Me: Are you telling me that after I am out of surgery, you don't think it will hurt?
Phil: Well I am sure you will have a little pain...
Me: Are you kidding me?
We talked it out. Turns out Phil has never had surgery or stitches, so he really doesn't have any experience to base his opinion on. He did manage to make me feel like a big baby though. We defined what is classified as "sharp" or "dull" pain. I hate to say it, but... Men.