Wednesday, April 3, 2013

This Stuff Only Happens to Me, I Think

Yesterday morning, I had an appointment with my OB.  It was just your ordinary, run of the mill, check-up on the baby.  Nothing special.  Phil and I had a couple of questions, but nothing major.  It ended up being a fairly eventful appointment, with some good information and I left feeling super excited like the baby would be coming ANY DAY now (which of course I hope isn't the case).

SIDE NOTE:  She didn't really say he'd be coming any day now.  She just got me excited talking about HOW CLOSE we were to being done.

One of the highlights of the appointment came at the beginning.

We walked into the exam room, where I immediately put down my purse and was handed the dixie cup I was to use for the obligatory urine sample.  The bathroom was  located on the corner at the intersection of two hallways, right across the hallway from my exam room.  Only 4 steps away basically.

Since my appointment was first thing in the morning and I had my thyroid bloodwork done earlier in the morning, I hadn't had anything to eat.  I compensated by drinking a bunch of water and I was pretty proud of myself that despite not being to see what I was doing, I was able to (sorry in advance if this is an overshare, but it is kind of pertinent to the story) produce a decent sample without peeing all over myself.

A personal triumph.

NOTE:  I don't embarrass easily.  If this was too much information for you, I apologize.  My mom is probably thoroughly embarrassed for me at this point but that doesn't matter because she barely reads my blog.  What does that say when your own mother doesn't even read it?  Anyway...

I washed my hands, grabbed my full cup and opened the door.

I take a step out of the door way and a very tall man comes tearing around the corner, at full speed, of course completely cutting the corner (alliteration much?).

I could see it happening in slow motion.  Total panic crept up for a few reasons:  1)  There was no way I was going to be able to provide another sample anytime soon, 2) I really didn't want pee all over myself and 3) of course this kind of thing would happen when I have a FULL cup.

I stopped and thankfully, the man stopped.

"WHOA!  Sorry," he says.

The only response I could think of was, "That could have been REALLY bad."

Everyone laughed.

What did I want to say?  "Hey dumby... maybe you DON'T walk at full speed around the corner by the bathroom that gets used for this VERY purpose like 50 times a day?"

The CNA after I got back into my exam room (who witnessed the near miss along with my husband) said, "We need those corner mirrors there" followed by "That guy is always walking really fast."

Well maybe his almost urine bath has taught him a lesson.

I sure learned one:  Next time, I'm checking around the corner and talking loudly before I step out of the bathroom.


  1. oh wow, can you imagine if you'd spilled it on him and you? now that would have REALLY taught him a lesson. but also you'd have been stuck waiting til you could give another sample. luckily the crisis was averted!

  2. Oh gosh, I totally thought that story was going to end differently! Phew!

  3. That would have been terrible. I'm sure you know you only need a little in the cup. Most people don't realize that.

  4. Hahaha!!! I love the talking loudly coming out of the bathroom lol! Making sure they hear you! That's hilarious. Maybe instead of the mirrors they just need to tell that particular gentleman to slow down!!
    So funny


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