Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A DVD Player, A Bicycle, and Phil

I was driving home yesterday and Gotye's "Somebody that I used to know" was on the radio.  Some horrible song was on after it, so I switched to another station.  Of course "Somebody that I used to know" was playing on that station as well.  So I plugged in my iPhone and began listening to that instead.  The next song that popped up was the Glee version of "Sombbody that I used to know" (which I prefer to the original actually).

This song always make me think of the biggest and worst break-up I ever had.  It also happened to be the best and worst relationship I have been in (my marriage is by far just the best relationship ever).

The relationship was with the TA for my Vector Calculus class. We dated for just over 2 years in total, during which time I think he broke up with me about 17 times.  Each time he said he wanted to see what his options were (such a sweetheart) and each time I wanted him to come back.  One of the things I am most embarrassed about is that I didn't have any confidence to kick him to the curb the FIRST time he said that to me.  He treated me like garbage.  I was so heartbroken/embarrassed about this relationship that I spent a year on the other side of the world just to make sure I was as far away from him as possible.

Anyway, the part of the song that does not remind me of this relationship is the part that says "have your friends collect your records..."

Here's how you know the break-up is bad:  neither one of you bothers to collect your stuff from the other person.  By the time our relationship was over, we were both so ready to be done with each other that we both agreed the other person could just keep whatever we had left at the other's house.  I think he got a pillow of mine and a pillowcase.

I, however, made out like a bandit.  He gave me a DVD player and a bicycle.

Overall, that relationship had a HUGE effect on me as a person.  He helped me gain some independence, travel, and helped me transition to living on my own.  It is also because of that relationship that I decided to go to England and get a Master's degree.  If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have met so many of my close friends and definitely would not have met Phil.  He also helped me determine exactly what I wanted in a man and how I wanted to be treated.  Those criteria helped me see what an amazing catch Phil was and he was definitely the guy I wanted.  All the heartache was most definitely worth it to get Phil.

Plus I got that DVD player and bicycle.


  1. I think I lost my senior year high school yearbook in my breakup? I want that thing back.

  2. I love that song, and I quite like your story too! It's funny sometimes how even "bad" experiences have some kind of positive outcome if you look at them the right way. :)

  3. What a great song - thank you for sharing! And I love your blog!

  4. i had a same experience. breakups are so hard, but i am SO thankful for the Lord protecting me. found you via the wiegands ;)


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