Red Cross Match Making

I have multiple cousins in college right now and all of them are at Oregon State (GO BEAVERS!). Two of them are about to graduate and another is in a serious relationship but the youngest one, Lindsay, is about to start her sophomore year of college. Being her older cousin and having made (several) bad judgement calls during my undergraduate days, I decided to bestow upon her a little dating advice. And believe me... I learned the HARD way.

I have a theory about a really good place to pick up a date.

BLOOD DRIVES

Think about it for a second... If you pick up someone after they have donated blood, you are almost certainly guaranteed a few things:

1) The person hasn't had sex for money/drugs.

2) They don't share needles or have sex with someone who shares needles.

3) They haven't violated any monkeys.

4) They haven't been exposed to malaria.

5) They are relatively healthy.

6) They do not currently have a temperature.

7) They can handle a little pain and aren't all that squeamish around needles and/or blood.


These may not seem like very important things, but can serve as a decent screening tool for potential dates. Let me make something clear here, I am not passing judgement. (Ok honestly for some of the items I have mentioned, I am definitely passing judgement. Can't help it). And when it comes to my cousins, I want nothing but the best. :)

Now... you need to make sure they aren't just giving blood and then calling that number on the back of the sheet telling them to not use their blood. So look for someone who has donated before. Perhaps they have earned their gallon pin. Of course if they are WEARING their gallon pin, that is kind of weird.

So cousins of mine... it might be a good idea to at least volunteer in the snack section for the upcoming Civil War Blood Drive.

You can totally use the following pick-up line (not you, Lindsay, because you shouldn't be paying for a first date):

"You look like you could use some more food. Let's go to dinner."

OR

"Today you saved 3 lives. The least I can do is take you to a movie."

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I totally had a first date at the blood drive once (sophomore year).

I did not meet Phil at a blood drive. But I am pretty sure, "Have you donated blood?" was definitely a question I asked on one of our first dates.

I think I am onto something here.