Last night, my friend Danielle sent me a text message with a picture attached to it. The picture was of a page out of her devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. She said she had read this and thought of me.
Case and point that God speaks to us in mysterious ways.
I think it was exactly what I needed.
I have spent a lot of time waiting and wishing for things to be done. Waiting for test results. Wishing for surgeries to be done, diets to be over, scans to be finished. Waiting for Phil to be done with school. Waiting (very impatiently) for babies.
I have at least a year of waiting until we can start fertility treatments (which will be more waiting and wishing). And I do not want to wish away over a year of my life. While I want a baby more than anything else, it would be extremely short-sighted and immature of me to just sit and pout, hoping time will pass by me more quickly.
Phil and I are not people who think everything happens for a reason (afterall, his brother died in a car accident, his dad has liver cancer, and I have thyroid cancer). And I can't believe that God purposely wants people to get sick and die (examples would be children with terminal illnesses, people who are in terrible accidents and suffer, 9/11). God is loving and protects us. But I do think God uses circumstances in our lives to deliver His messages and draw us closer to Him.
I need to sit and listen and look for the things God wants me to do while I am waiting. And rather than doubt and stress over what the future may hold, I need to sit, be quiet, and trust in Him.