Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Our Infertility Story PART 1

I haven't talked much on here about our infertility story.  The "I" word has been dropped a few times and definitely alluded to, but the details haven't been shared.  For a while I think it was because Phil and I were a little ashamed.  After we got over that and realized the only reason infertile couples feel ashamed is because it isn't talked about enough, we branched out a little.

Since I am currently in one of the last steps of my thyroid cancer treatment (God willing), it seemed like a good time to discuss how I found out about the cancer.  And in our case, infertility helped in finding my cancer.  Not to be too dramatic, but infertility may have saved my life.


Easter Sunday we went to church and then to my parents's house for dinner.  After dinner, we went to my dad's cousin's widow's house (did you follow that?) for an Easter egg hunt and dessert.  The drive to the Easter egg hunt was about an hour.  During the drive, Phil did his weekly phone call with his parents and drove (hands-free, don't worry) while I sat.

And it got me thinking...

I remember Easter last year.  We had just found out again that I wasn't pregnant and I had a feeling that things just weren't right.  Even though statistically it can take up to a year to get pregnant, for our age, it really shouldn't take longer than 6 months.  And we were past that.  We had decided we were going to explore some fertility tests to figure things out.

I remember thinking how sad I was that day.  Talking to my family was hard because I was just so upset that I wasn't pregnant.

Oh how little I knew at the time.

{The Columbia River Gorge, Oct. 2011.  I just think every post needs a picture.}

A couple of weeks after that, we got some of our fertility tests back.  Things weren't normal.  And nobody would really tell us what it meant.  We would need to see a reproductive endocrinologist for that.

For about a month and a half after that, we could hardly look at each other without bursting into tears.  There is something so fundamentally heartbreaking about having fertility issues.  I still can't figure out exactly why that is.  I think it could be because reproducing is such a basic human ability so many take for granted.  I mean, 16-years-olds can get pregnant in the back of cars.  Surely a responsible, financially stable, married couple should be able to have a baby.

When we had finally dealt with the news, we decided it was time to move forward and find a reproductive endocrinologist.  We are fortunate enough to live close to a couple of wonderful fertility clinics who offer several open houses and free seminars.  And since this is a HUGE decision to make (I think everyone is aware how expensive fertility treatments can be), we wanted to be completely informed when we picked a clinic and a doctor.

After 2 months of research, we had picked a clinic.  A couple of weeks after that, we had an appointment.  The appointment was excellent.  The nursing and administrative staff were so helpful.  The doctor walked us through every possible procedure.  And we left with the doctor saying, "We are going to get you pregnant by the end of the year."  We left feeling totally optimistic and with instructions to call on the first day of my next cycle.

That was a Thursday...

(It was a super long post, so I split it in 2.  Come back for PART 2 tomorrow...)


  1. oh wow.

    I'll barely forgive you for splitting this into two parts --

    also I'm DYING to hear how you're doing.


  2. um. i should have seen the part 1 before i read this.
    thank you for sharing part 1 today.
    and thank you in advance for part 2 tomorrow.

    hope you're feeling better!

  3. I am a new follower!

    Thank you for sharing your story - you have no idea how many women you will help!

  4. I'm so glad things are lookin up for y'all it makes me happy! I'm looking forward to part two :)

  5. New follower. Your story, all of it, is heartbreaking. I'm praying for you.. for healing, strength, joy, understanding, and peace! I look forward to reading more of your story tomorrow! xo

  6. Infertility is something that has changes my life in ways I never thought it would. I like you thought and felt all those things, I was young, healthy and didn't understand why my body couldn't do this very natural thing. We lost 4 babies to miscarriage and struggled over 3 years until we finally found our "magicial supplements" that helped me stay pregnant with Wyatt. Finally being able to stay pregnant and hold my baby was a feeling I can't explain and infertility made me appreciate all the moments of pregnancy and parenthood. I can't say the things you felt ever go away because for me they impacted my life so much but I so pray that once you make it through this struggle your fertility struggle will smooth out and you can get that baby every wanting person deserves.


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